Plain Porn

As you might have noticed, sex is something that is on my mind a lot. Sure, I am a guy, that makes it already a given fact. But actually, it is really on my mind a lot. The erotic state of mind is something fascinating, and watching a female body naked or in such sexual way, is something incredible. Or multiple people in sexual situations always attracted my attention.

Before most boys of my age knew the official word for the female genitalia, I knew them not only how to write and spell it, but could draw them out by mind in any shape or form, simply because the gigantic collection of porn I already collected even before I actually played with myself. When I saw the first time a lady in the nude on a centerfold in a Playboy when I was about 4 or 5, I was hooked. Not that I understood it, or that I knew what it meant; but the fact that there was a magazine published about naked women must have meant that it was something special. I shared this fascination with my friend and while other kids - if they were lucky - tried 'playing doctor' once, we played the artist and his muse. She would pose just like the models in the Playboy and the Penthouses we could get our hands on, and I would draw her. Although I could not yet buy the magazines officially, it was no problem to get my hands on them. And before I even had my first orgasm, I owned more magazines; ranging from simple plain girlie mags to hardcore porn.

Porn and erotica always stayed something important to me. Sure, I love sex, but it is something else. I love to masturbate... simply love it. It is nothing to be compared to sex. Masturbation is selfish, alone, just me. Sex is something completely different. Sure, it has an orgasm as result and has to do with the thing between my legs, but that is where the similarity in my opinion ends.
And it only has been with my wife who actually understood this. And she did also not see it as something that meant I did not want her. I remember the moment when we were not yet even that long together that she was introduced to my collection, and already it became clear to her that it was to me not the dirty ripped apart and stained magazines under the bed. Perfectly ordered, in a couple of book cases, I had everything there. I simply love to see the female body. I love to see my wife's, but just any other too. I can masturbate for hours just looking at female bodies, sex...

The good thing about it and having the privacy for enjoying the self pleasuring is that I got completely comfortable with what I liked, and what not, and understanding that my preferences change. I know I am the cheater here, and that I will not in any way say that watching porn got my lust under control; not at all. But, it did get me to enjoy things that I could not enjoy with someone else.

For example; as you also may know by now, I have a huge passion for an orgasm and women. With which I mean, the male orgasm preferably in women. Porn should not have condoms. Sure, it is the right thing to do in real life, but porn is not real life. And while watching porn, it should stimulate the senses, and condoms just don't do that. My wife hates seeing the 'money shot', but for me, it is so incredibly sexy.

A lot of things I have developed an interest in, without even having experienced ever for real. It is not only the male orgasm on or in a woman that turns me on, but anything liquid that isn't blood. I love to see a woman pee. Never seen it in real life though, and still hope to experience it with someone one time. I don't even have to participate in it, I don't even know if I would like it, but just seeing it would already be a huge turn on. Until that time, photos will help me out enough.

The thing that I enjoyed learning about myself is that age is completely irrelevant to me. A mature lady might be much more sexy than a beautiful woman. It really differs per day, just like the ethnicity I would be interested in. Even the body type can change any moment. It is to me, the beauty is in the erotic mood. I cannot stand the faked sex, which is why I prefer photos over movies. The movies are always so acted, and never well done. Not only that, they are horrible as masturbation material because if you finally found the location you would like to experience your moment-supreme on, suddenly you are looking at the face of the guy at exactly your wrong moment. Photos are nice, and without the fake orgasm sounds.

Over the last 12 years I have had multiple women posing in front of the camera, the shoots that my wife directed and I shot. And seeing that side of the porn industry, the fact that making the shoots yourself is by far not as erotic as you might think, also put things in another light for me. I enjoy porn now as it should; shallow. It is just superficial what you see. And you know what? I don't care. Like snacking something once in a while; you know it is not nutritious, but it is so damn yummie.

Nepali Passion... How Cheating Can Get Too Risky

There would not be a single man alive, married or not, that
would have been able to resist.

I talk about the cheating from a very objective point of view. It is something I have under control; it is something I plan and find a special place for in my life. Well, that is how it might seem, and what I do try to achieve. But sometimes, something more might happen. Something I try to avoid at all costs is to have to concept of love come between the cheating and my regular life.
But once it hits, no matter how accidentally it might be, how do you get out of it? And do you want to?

I experienced this once. Even though I had been writing with this woman for a time, which was very casual, simple, and mostly because of friendship, we decided to meet. She knew I was married, I knew she was divorced, and we just wanted to meet. Nothing special. Well, nothing special... we had been talking about the lacking of passion in both our lives, and the need for a hug from someone.

But this certain Friday night, we decided to meet and we mentioned this little coffee place for the early evening. But halfway through the afternoon I notice the hesitation, and she called the meeting off, which might have been better anyway. So, I planned the evening alone at home, since my wife was away on a trip. Simply with a pizza and a movie, not doing anything that would be in any way productive.

Adorable, and quite close in
resemblance. Of course, this is not her.
But oh boy, does she bring back
memories.

But just before I settled in, she wrote me asking if I still might be willing to meet her. But since it was already getting later in the evening and the coffee place was closed. She wanted me to come by her place, but then, she did not feel completely comfortable with meeting a stranger at her place, which was totally fine with me. So she asked me to come to her town, and drive under her directions, and then meet here in front of her home.
And so I did. And in the total darkness, an hour later, I called her to mention that I should be somewhere nearby. She guided, and misguided me accidentally, a couple of times, but in the end I arrived, and saw this pretty woman standing outside, with her hands up, waving towards my car and holding a phone. I got out, we hugged, and she walked a little bit with me towards her apartment and guided me in.
We had a wonderful little talk, simple, honestly, and fun. About the things we talked prior to that evening, and why she suddenly wanted to back out, but in the end still decided to meet me. And it was simply a pleasant meeting in which we got to know each other.
Then, when we picked up our drinks and walked to her living room, she put the glasses aside, wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. Simply mumbling barely audible, that she appreciated so much that I was there. I wrapped my arms around her, and we stood like that for a little while. Totally in silence, just a pleasant hug, quietly, safe. Then she looked up, and I looked into her eyes, almost as black as night, almost as black as her long thick wavy hair. Her slightly tinted skin, and it was then that I literally melted in her arms. And without a word being said, our lips touched, and I felt her small pointy tongue find a way to play with mine, and the kiss became long, passionate, something incredible.
While grasping for air, I whispered "I want you..." by which she immediately stopped kissing, looked at me again, and simply asked; "Do you mean that?". Of course I meant it, but I just nodded and everything happened incredibly fast. She dragged me to her sofa, pushed me down into it. Unbuttoned my pants and undid the tie and pulled my lose. Without looking away but gazing into my eyes she removed her black panties from under her dress and crawled on top of me on the couch. I felt her fingers finding my cock, keeping it straight up, and then felt her slide over me, het heat touching me so smoothly and moisty. We did not talk, and she laid her head in my neck and felt her hard breating while she pumped herself on top of me. Her wetness made it so very smooth, her tightness so incredibly sexy, and soon I noticed why she jumped me like that, as she came within the minute while riding me. I felt her squeeze hard with her pussy, the trembling and shaking, and then put my deep inside of her while she experienced the slowly slowing down impact of her orgasm.

Did this just happen to me? I looked at her. This woman was stunningly beautiful. As I mentioned in earlier post, looks usually are not that important to me, it is the sexiness, the lust that my lover has, that makes me so into her. But I could not deny, this woman, let's call her Sara, simply was incredible. And within minutes of walking in the door she threw me on the couch and fucked me? I was still hard as I could be, and after she caught a breath, she bend down a bit backwards, still me inside of her, and apologized for her behavior, but that she had not have any sex since her divorce which was 5 months prior to that.

But while she was explaining, she softly started rocking, keeping me inside, fucking me so tenderly while we were actually having a conversation. And I did not want it to end. And it did not. And she didn't either. She stood up, undressed herself completely, while I did the same thing, and we went into one of those rare nights with hours of sexual play. Sometimes foreplay, sometimes fucking, and sometimes simply laying in each other's arms.
She was so incredible, so delicious, so sexy, that I could not ever refuse her delicious behind. And while licking her, I noticed how she raised her hips, and pulling her butt-cheeks apart, and without hesitation I licked here there too, immediately responded with heavy moaning, especially when I had my finger slide into her too.
Our night of sex brought us throughout her whole apartment, ending eventually with her passionately riding me once again in front of the window, where she at last ignored my warning of me almost coming, and instead looked at me and increased the pace in which the fucked me, and had me this time ejaculate forcefully inside of her. After at least 4 hours of our sexual game we were both incredibly exhausted, and she lay next to me, and we held each other close, kissed softly, and just laid there, on the floor, with each other.

This night was not something normal. When I drove home, I also noticed I could not get her out of my mind. Not just sexually, but how she behaved, how she looked. Two weeks later, just after my birthday, we met again at her apartment. And this time, she opened the door wearing a gorgeous lingerie outfit, lacking the underwear, mentioning that this was my birthday present and she bought it just for me.

Another night of pure erotic pleasure followed, and this time, we made sure it was even more incredible than it already was. I could not forget her eyes, her smile, the soft voice, the exotic looks. I kissed her goodnight way in the early hours of the morning, and noticed how absolutely smitten I was by this lady from Nepal. And that got us both thinking, and she actually wrote me that this might not be good. She knew my situation, I knew hers, and what we could give each other was less than what we wanted to. I am glad she was that strong though. If she would have asked me for other nights, I would not have been able to resist. And it would have become a very dangerous game to play.
I would not be able to resist! I could not even get her out of my mind! And I know by now, even though I might appear to be so in control; we all know I am not.

Because we all know that no man is in control with sex if a woman is involved. Even the promise of sex just makes our thinking blurry. Even if we have the best of best intentions.
Yes, I know, we are the weaker of the sexes... but enjoying it.

Who is the Honest Cheater?

Alright, I cannot begin this blog, without introducing myself.

I am Peter, in my early forties  guess it or not; I am actually happily married and have two children. Both girls and although I still do not understand them, and being a guy - I most likely never will, I love them till death. Just like I love my wife, mind you.

My wife knows about the cheating. I was more or less forced into a position where I had to confess to it, which was hard. Sure, I have a gazillion different excuses why I cheated, but in the end, that didn't matter. I had to tell her.

We were lucky. Although it caused first a pretty large speed-bump on the road of our relationship, now, a year later, it has made our marriage stronger than ever.

I have been growing up being an honest virgin for 24 years. No kidding. Not that I was some kind of hunchback, mind you. I actually was pretty popular with the girls growing up, but I still had my mind set on finding miss Right and experience my first sex with her. Sure, I masturbated like crazy from the moment I first found out that that thing between my legs was a far better toy than Lego. And I never stopped.
And just like I have a passion for pornography. Yup, although most of it is crap, I like the visual arts around erotica that is actually meant for arousal. So, even nowadays, I masturbate a lot, and look at a lot of porn. And my wife is absolutely okay with it. Well, she was, but for me, it was a bit weird.

Sex is important in our marriage, but it is not there.We both love to see it, but it is not there. We actually own a photo production studio where erotica is one of the big things, but we don't have sex. We want to, but can't. A hormonal disorder with my wife renders her almost lust-less. And I could still live with that. But hormones do more than making a woman horny, it also controls anything with affection; and we lost that. And at one moment, after 8 years, I gave up. I simply gave up trying to get some passion in our marriage. I love my wife, and did not want to confront her anymore with telling her that did not work out this way. I don't want to have sex when she doesn't want to.

So, I actually found the easy way to avoid it all. Finding a woman who would love to experience an encounter was not hard to find. Craigslist, in the end, was just a playground, as I found out. And I tried beating around the bush when women responded on my posting, but that never worked out. Until, I found out I just had to be honest. I remember that the header was 'Cheater is looking for someone to cheat with'. And the lottery fell; as I found out, I was anything but the only married person looking for simple affection. It was not about the sex! So many people, just, lacking the passion in their marriage way before they even were in their thirties, and starting to realize that the rest of their lives would be passion-less and sex-less.

And believe me, the first time I thought it was about missing sex. I actually underestimated myself, and found women who loved to simply invite me over for sex. It was easy, quick, but for me, it did not satisfy what I thought I was missing. Sure, we had sex, and it was passionate, but over time, I found out sex to me alone is not what I was lacking... it needed to be a package deal. Passion, attraction and sex. Not just sex alone. And even that was found (and I will describe these experiences in all detail in future postings). Long story short; this beautiful and wonderful Latina lady was caught by her husband. And her husband started threatening me. I honestly cannot blame him, but, if my wife would learn it from anyone, it had to be me.

So, I confessed. And she got sad, then angry... and then she left for her parents...

And then, earlier than I had ever expected, she came back. To be honest, her mother had sent her back. Not to give me hell to pay, but actually, my wife apologized. Which, I don't think she ever had to do, but still, she did. And the thing she apologized for was for neglecting me. Don't get me wrong, she still hated my guts for cheating, but actually, we discovered that we needed to talk. And we did, and we learned to simply be open about ourselves, even if it means complaining about our relationship with constructive criticism. And so everything was spoken about, our marriage, sex, lack of, but also, fantasies, lust... and I think we learned more about each other than ever before.

Aha, all's well that ends well? Well... the readers who paid a little attention, noticed the mentioning of  '...and will most likely do it in the future again' reference in my first blog post. Yes, our marriage did not magically heal. We talk, we understand, but things are not perfect. Which also will be talked about in detail in the future.

But, that is a little bit about me, and the cheating during my marriage. Oh, there are a lot of stories to tell. And they all will be written, shared, yes, also in graphical detail... so, join in on the conversation if you want to, or follow my blog...