My Impossible Wish List

It is already spring and a while ago since I did my last post. It maybe not so weird as very little has happened over the last couple of months. I have been extremely faithful which is actually a good subject here.

When I had encounters with other women, sometimes as a relationship, sometimes as a business deal as a 'service' or during a massage visit where at least part of my desires were satisfied. It sounds so weird but I very well understand that what I am looking for is most likely something I will never find. And that idea starts to settle.

Yes, I have to admit, the massages are a real relief.

As I wrote in earlier postings is that I indeed find a lot of relieve now with massages and visiting an escort. But that is simply satisfying on a physical level. Don't get me wrong, I personally think it is a great way to find that relieve while not getting involved into something disastrous. Better yet, believe it or not, my wife is actually up to date about it as well.
If you have followed my earlier postings, the sexless situation in our marriage is not completely unexpected, and having a sexual connection going on outside of the marriage that does not involve 'feelings' is also something she saw as a good solution.

But that also made it very clear, sex is just 'sex' if no feelings are involved. I loved being with the escort; she was cute, sweet and very sexy. My masseuse is sweet, cute, not very sexy but gives a hell of a massage and knows what makes me feel exceptionally satisfied.

But the problem is, nothing is expected of me. Oh, to fork over the dough, of course. It is not a bad thing; because it indeed gives me all the love at home, and all the sex as a service. So, perfect solution, no?

Well, no.

With an escort, it is almost like 'shopping' which is actually
what I did not like so much. The woman was beautiful in a girl-next-door
look, but still, it is too arranged. Too, weird.

As I said, nothing is expected of me. During the massage I am just laying on the table, have to turn over when my masseuse tells me, and just be showered and trimmed when I arrive. She'll take care of everything else.

The escort filled me with all the praise. That she loved more heavyset guys that have chest hair. She loved everything about me, even let me kiss her and kissed back passionately. And I loved licking her, cannot help it, but I also wanted to prove myself to her.
But I do not know if everything was real, and I assume it was not. Who knows. It does not matter.

But that is the problem, I want it to matter. Sex with someone who wants you badly, just like you want that someone, is something so very special. The desire to be with that person, touch her, discover her... the real passionate lust. Not lust for sex, but the lust for that someone.

And that makes what I am looking for so much more difficult to find and that I am starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, I will be settling for just what is happening right now.
Because I want to feel passionate for a woman, love her without the love as in a relationship. And I want her to feel absolutely the same towards me. Discrete, beautiful, sexy, and desiring the companionship as much as I do while also understanding that being married brings in a lot of agenda collisions.

So, if you dissect that wish-list completely, it is like asking for world-peace and the perfect apple-strudel a la mode at the same time. It is not going to happen.

Ah, but then, don't you need to set your aim high?

Nepali Passion... How Cheating Can Get Too Risky

There would not be a single man alive, married or not, that
would have been able to resist.

I talk about the cheating from a very objective point of view. It is something I have under control; it is something I plan and find a special place for in my life. Well, that is how it might seem, and what I do try to achieve. But sometimes, something more might happen. Something I try to avoid at all costs is to have to concept of love come between the cheating and my regular life.
But once it hits, no matter how accidentally it might be, how do you get out of it? And do you want to?

I experienced this once. Even though I had been writing with this woman for a time, which was very casual, simple, and mostly because of friendship, we decided to meet. She knew I was married, I knew she was divorced, and we just wanted to meet. Nothing special. Well, nothing special... we had been talking about the lacking of passion in both our lives, and the need for a hug from someone.

But this certain Friday night, we decided to meet and we mentioned this little coffee place for the early evening. But halfway through the afternoon I notice the hesitation, and she called the meeting off, which might have been better anyway. So, I planned the evening alone at home, since my wife was away on a trip. Simply with a pizza and a movie, not doing anything that would be in any way productive.

Adorable, and quite close in
resemblance. Of course, this is not her.
But oh boy, does she bring back
memories.

But just before I settled in, she wrote me asking if I still might be willing to meet her. But since it was already getting later in the evening and the coffee place was closed. She wanted me to come by her place, but then, she did not feel completely comfortable with meeting a stranger at her place, which was totally fine with me. So she asked me to come to her town, and drive under her directions, and then meet here in front of her home.
And so I did. And in the total darkness, an hour later, I called her to mention that I should be somewhere nearby. She guided, and misguided me accidentally, a couple of times, but in the end I arrived, and saw this pretty woman standing outside, with her hands up, waving towards my car and holding a phone. I got out, we hugged, and she walked a little bit with me towards her apartment and guided me in.
We had a wonderful little talk, simple, honestly, and fun. About the things we talked prior to that evening, and why she suddenly wanted to back out, but in the end still decided to meet me. And it was simply a pleasant meeting in which we got to know each other.
Then, when we picked up our drinks and walked to her living room, she put the glasses aside, wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. Simply mumbling barely audible, that she appreciated so much that I was there. I wrapped my arms around her, and we stood like that for a little while. Totally in silence, just a pleasant hug, quietly, safe. Then she looked up, and I looked into her eyes, almost as black as night, almost as black as her long thick wavy hair. Her slightly tinted skin, and it was then that I literally melted in her arms. And without a word being said, our lips touched, and I felt her small pointy tongue find a way to play with mine, and the kiss became long, passionate, something incredible.
While grasping for air, I whispered "I want you..." by which she immediately stopped kissing, looked at me again, and simply asked; "Do you mean that?". Of course I meant it, but I just nodded and everything happened incredibly fast. She dragged me to her sofa, pushed me down into it. Unbuttoned my pants and undid the tie and pulled my lose. Without looking away but gazing into my eyes she removed her black panties from under her dress and crawled on top of me on the couch. I felt her fingers finding my cock, keeping it straight up, and then felt her slide over me, het heat touching me so smoothly and moisty. We did not talk, and she laid her head in my neck and felt her hard breating while she pumped herself on top of me. Her wetness made it so very smooth, her tightness so incredibly sexy, and soon I noticed why she jumped me like that, as she came within the minute while riding me. I felt her squeeze hard with her pussy, the trembling and shaking, and then put my deep inside of her while she experienced the slowly slowing down impact of her orgasm.

Did this just happen to me? I looked at her. This woman was stunningly beautiful. As I mentioned in earlier post, looks usually are not that important to me, it is the sexiness, the lust that my lover has, that makes me so into her. But I could not deny, this woman, let's call her Sara, simply was incredible. And within minutes of walking in the door she threw me on the couch and fucked me? I was still hard as I could be, and after she caught a breath, she bend down a bit backwards, still me inside of her, and apologized for her behavior, but that she had not have any sex since her divorce which was 5 months prior to that.

But while she was explaining, she softly started rocking, keeping me inside, fucking me so tenderly while we were actually having a conversation. And I did not want it to end. And it did not. And she didn't either. She stood up, undressed herself completely, while I did the same thing, and we went into one of those rare nights with hours of sexual play. Sometimes foreplay, sometimes fucking, and sometimes simply laying in each other's arms.
She was so incredible, so delicious, so sexy, that I could not ever refuse her delicious behind. And while licking her, I noticed how she raised her hips, and pulling her butt-cheeks apart, and without hesitation I licked here there too, immediately responded with heavy moaning, especially when I had my finger slide into her too.
Our night of sex brought us throughout her whole apartment, ending eventually with her passionately riding me once again in front of the window, where she at last ignored my warning of me almost coming, and instead looked at me and increased the pace in which the fucked me, and had me this time ejaculate forcefully inside of her. After at least 4 hours of our sexual game we were both incredibly exhausted, and she lay next to me, and we held each other close, kissed softly, and just laid there, on the floor, with each other.

This night was not something normal. When I drove home, I also noticed I could not get her out of my mind. Not just sexually, but how she behaved, how she looked. Two weeks later, just after my birthday, we met again at her apartment. And this time, she opened the door wearing a gorgeous lingerie outfit, lacking the underwear, mentioning that this was my birthday present and she bought it just for me.

Another night of pure erotic pleasure followed, and this time, we made sure it was even more incredible than it already was. I could not forget her eyes, her smile, the soft voice, the exotic looks. I kissed her goodnight way in the early hours of the morning, and noticed how absolutely smitten I was by this lady from Nepal. And that got us both thinking, and she actually wrote me that this might not be good. She knew my situation, I knew hers, and what we could give each other was less than what we wanted to. I am glad she was that strong though. If she would have asked me for other nights, I would not have been able to resist. And it would have become a very dangerous game to play.
I would not be able to resist! I could not even get her out of my mind! And I know by now, even though I might appear to be so in control; we all know I am not.

Because we all know that no man is in control with sex if a woman is involved. Even the promise of sex just makes our thinking blurry. Even if we have the best of best intentions.
Yes, I know, we are the weaker of the sexes... but enjoying it.

Actually, I Have Been Good!

Just... just.... delicious!

So I am writing this blog about cheating and sex. And as you might know by now, I enjoy sex immensely, even when I actually don't have it that often. But even when writing about the sex with other women, it does not automatically mean that my life is boring at home.
Honestly... it mostly is. I have written before that the lack of sex in our marriage is one of the reasons why I ended up looking for it somewhere else.

But don't let me be only about that. There are good sex stories to be found here too. So, it is easy to write about my escapades, but I will let you now into a more intimate area of my life. I will show you a bit of our sex life, when it is actually good. Let me take you away to a couple of weeks ago.

I was visiting a friend and met him in the center of the country. We do that regularly, since we live a continent far away, and twice every year we meet each other in the dead center. We meet each other, and talk about the good old times during the day. And usually when the night falls, in the hotel we each sit on our own bed, masturbating to porn. We know each other now for eons, and since we both started noticing our interest in women, it started out by swapping out each other's Playboys and Penthouses. We are now 20 years further down the line, and now it is watching porn and jerking off. No, nothing else. It is just that missing the sexual freedom at home, it is a relief to just be yourself and let yourself go.
This year, we actually had the possibility of being with a woman, but we both resisted the temptation to cheat. And we still keep asking ourselves: why?

So, during the stay there, I did release some ejaculate. And refreshed I arrived home from a fly and drive back home, where I was greeted by my wife. The rest of the evening was uneventful and I went to bed early, being all revived again the following day to come to work.

It was after midnight that I woke up again, and something that was, to me, a brand new experience. I felt my wife's lips on mine, kissing me softly, and in the darkness I saw her hovering over me. It actually took me some time to realize that what woke me up, was her hands on my erect cock, her soft hands jerking the skin up and down, producing some pre-cum already while I barely had my eyes open.

"I missed you. I want you." she said softly, and her continuous motion already had mesmerized me. Her naked body, her breasts so close to me. Usually, when we have sex, we have a lot of foreplay. But this time, I saw a whole different beast in my very own wife. The woman who rather watched Criminal Minds than anything erotic. Here she was, suddenly, the woman I met so many years ago, already crawling over me and her soft intimate lips spreading over my cock. With a fluid motion she slid over me till her crotch hit mine, her very wetness making the movement extremely slippery.

Now, I don't know how many of you have a not such a desirable sex life at home. But you might
know the feeling of when that happens, also not to put too much effort in it anymore. Sex will become the basic movements and 'Oh!' (You) and 'Oh! (Her, sadly enough sometimes optional) and done. With us it is mostly the same, although the 'Oh!' (Her) I try to squeeze into it when possible. But you never really go outside of the box.
But I was tired, not completely awake, and we became dirty again. She grinded herself on me, thrusting my cock hitting her womb. It was pure fucking, not in a negative way. In an extremely good way. It was the honest porno fuck. Twenty minutes of raw intercourse., and it became better and better with every moment. Especially when I talked to her mentioning her fucking her favorite tv star. 'You want Jim Caviezel to fuck you, no?' I said. She always try to stay in control, but when I mentioned that I was him (Yeah, right!, I wish!) and how it was to have his cock bare inside of her, she moaned, mentioning she needed him inside of her. The thought for her got into her mind, and I noticed it in her temperature and behavior.
'Do you want him to cum inside of you?'
'Hmmmm... yeah!'
'Do you want him to shoot his sperm inside your tight pussy?'
'I want it!'
'Do you want him to knock you up?'
And this role game came to an explosive end for both of us, at the same time, when she told me strongly; 'Yessss, Fuck me pregnant! Fuck Me! Cum!'
And I felt myself explode, shooting my ropes of come deep inside of her. Feeling our juices together mix and covering us both.

She told me she actually felt a bit ashamed of it, the day after. I mentioned I liked it a lot, and that I am not a jealous type in that way.

Of course, we haven't had sex since. But that was to be expected. But sometimes, there are these little moments, that just make things feel better.... seem I don't always have to be with another woman. This time, I have been good!

The Thing About Cheating is...

There is something weird about cheating. I noticed this over the last couple of weeks, and that is the following; you understand it when you do it, but if you do not, you don't know really what it is about. A lot of people are prejudiced, and almost no-one who is understands the real situation.

There are different levels of cheating, and I think you can categorize them in three levels:
- The person who cannot be monogamous.
- The person who has given in to temptation.
- The person who is seeking passionate/sexual attention that is not found in the existing relationship.

Let's not forget one thing; do never underestimate the second point. If there is even the slightest element of desire, even so well concealed, a person has to be made out of stone to resist temptation. When I met the woman I would cheat with, and that actually got me confessing to my wife, it was anything but about sex and cheating. Worse, the reason why we met was simple, we both got to know each other to resist the temptation.

Let me clarify. I knew the desire was there. The sex life in my marriage was nearly non-existing but that doesn't mean that the mind and body do not desire the sexual attention so much. But it was my idea to try to control it. As I mentioned before; I love my wife. I don't want to cheat. But when the desire takes over, the only thing you can think about is holding someone else, kissing their neck, feel the thighs wrapped around you, the moaning in your ear, the soft pressure of her breasts... the intense orgasms...

I actually needed help from someone who knew how to deal with this. And I found this someone. She had been in the same situation, but was able to manage it after a long time, and she had all kinds of tricks. And it worked actually pretty well, and got my mind off it. A while later she mentioned she would be in the neighborhood of where I work, and she asked me for some coffee during my break.
We met, had a very nice simple talk, nothing going on. But when we said our goodbye's and leaned in for a quick kiss on the cheeks, it ended up in a deep passionate kiss, and within minutes I heard her moaning while I fingered her in my car.

I, personally believe that if both people have a desire, there is no way to resist it, no matter how strong you think you are. Since then, I will never utter the words that I will never cheat again. Maybe I mean it, but I know, that if I am in the same situation, I am not in control at all. If you want to control it, control the situation, and avoid it.

But then, the other question is, should you?

That takes us to the third point; the person who is seeking passionate/sexual attention that is not found in the
existing relationship.
When you get married, or in any relationship, keep in mind that there is also a sexual expectation, just as much as there is one of love and caring. When you decide to be in a permanent relationship, you ought to know the other's sexual desires and level. This is not something that you can ignore.

Now, there are a hundred ways that sex leaves a relationship. Stress, lack of love, hormonal issues, medical issues, age, sexual incompatibility... and many more. The thing is, although we all know to work out our problems, fights and disagreements  no-one is actually working out their sexual problems. It is still too much of a taboo, even in a close or kinky marriage. Mentioning something about sexual problems is like saying the other is not good. And that is often not where you want to take a conversation.

The other thing is, that even if you can talk about it, I personally don't like to have sex with someone who doesn't want it. I know my wife often just doesn't want it, and I don't want her to do it just so I can have my fun. I don't work that way.
I rather find sex somewhere else so I don't bother my wife, and she doesn't have to do it when she doesn't want to, while someone else can be a perfect sexual match. I am not looking for love, just looking for a passionate match.

I personally think that cheating can have a solid place in a solid relationship. But, like with everything else, be prepared to take the consequences.

Now, this leaves one more point to discuss, the person that cannot be monogamous.

I think the 'cheating' going on here is on this person him or herself. I such a person understand him or herself completely, they would know a relationship is not for them, because the desire of being with someone new is simply too much.

And then there is the whole bunch of people being so negative about cheating. Sure, cheating is a game you play that has a lot of rules and traps and pitfalls. And playing the game means you have to be extremely careful. And also, a lot of people actually play the game.
And one of the rule is never to attract the attention to yourself. And the best way to do that is showing disgust on the subject. So, well, yes, in my personal opinion, the people yelling the hardest that cheating is so wrong are falling in one of two categories;

1. The people who secretly cheat themselves.
2. The people who will never get the attention that allows them to cheat.

But, again, that is my personal opinion. No proven facts here. Just my mind written down on a piece of empty web page.

The Hard Work That Is Cheating

Cheating is hard, very hard work.

Well, of course, I am not talking about the act of the cheating itself, but to keep it all under control. So even if you are just contemplating to look for love outside of your marriage, keep in mind, it is difficult. Unless of course you don't give about the fact that it can seriously hurt, or destroy your current relation completely. For those people, well, cheating might be a way to finish whatever you had with your significant other, but then it seems that your relationship had ended already a long time ago.

Cheating is delicious, but also quite risky... but delicious nontheless

No, I assume that still the majority of the cheaters - and keep in mind, 57% of all married men admit to having an affair during their marriage, and 54% of all married women admit to it - have looked and experienced love outside their marriage (read more statistics here) have done it while still loving their marriage. So, it is more about finding something that you have lost in your marriage over the years than wanting to hurt your spouse or even risk your marriage. That means that the affair needs to stay hidden.

And, well, if you are contemplating to find another person to love, be prepared. Because keeping that a secret requires a lot of discipline. Because, according to the same statistics, only 31% of the marriages in which an affair has been discovered, continues.
And myself, being one of the ones who had admitted to having an affair to my wife count myself lucky the be the one still having my marriage. Because, and you can read that in previous postings, I love my marriage. Just, it is not perfect. By far not.

Anyway, here are some things you really, really need to prepare before you even are going on your search:

1. Ignore The Temptation

This is one of the things I found the hardest. Once you connect with someone, you are reunited with your old friends; butterflies. And you will feel the same way as you did in high school when the object of your affection even gave you a glimpse of attention during math class.
And if you remember that time, and can recall your own behavior, your mind was pretty much occupied. Well, that will happen again.

And as you might know, once someone is feeling that feeling of love again, you can read it from their behavior. So, rule numbero uno! Stay in control of yourself, dude! When you are with your spouse, try to keep the other one off your mind, and try to be aware of your own behavior.

This also means, not wanting to check your email all the time. If you haven't done that before, you surely don't want to raise suspicions right now.

2. Multi-task!

If you are a techie, you know what the real description of multi-tasking is. Believe me, it is not what every woman tells when she mention she can, and you can't multi-task. Real multi-tasking is to do 2 or more completely different things, at exactly the same time, in their own environments.

So, you have to become this person who is two people at the same time. Once you decide to cheat, you will not be a wife or husband with a girlfriend or boyfriend on the side. No. You will be a wife and a husband. AND you will be a boyfriend or girlfriend of your affair-partner. And you will keep those two apart.

This is why you hear enough people talking about having two phones. One is their personal phone, the other one their sex-phone. I think that is actually overkill, but it is good to keep it all separated. Make sure you have different email addresses for the affair partner, and that he or she doesn't know your real email address.

A little bit too much of a alter ego, but sexy it is

3. Role-Play

Continuing on that; now that you understand you have to create a separate ego for your affair, let's take the role-playing a little bit further. Give yourself a new name too. Keep your first name (otherwise you will mix names up when your lover is talking to you) but change your last name. And while we are at it, also change your age about 2 years. You will still look the part, but you are not easy to spot. Also, make your alter ego a lot like you, this will keep you natural in your acting. Don't make it completely the same.

Also, when you are getting used to your role as this alter ego, you will notice advice #2 will be easier to handle. Because in the end, you will switch completely over to your normal self when you come home.

4. Don't Call!

It is so tempting to call... but don't!

Calling is one of two direct forms of communication you can have. The other one is meeting. Calling is also the one thing that is most easily traced. Believe me, this is why I got in trouble. With emailing with someone else, there is a good way to hide your tracks without having to be a hacker. Just simply using a web based email system (never use your own email on your computer itself) is fine as long as you chose a difficult password and don't attach your photo to it.

But calling, no matter how, is tracked to your phone, and your phone provider can always show directly who called, or who you called with. Not only that, it shows the number in the tracking list. And this is easily found on your phone by your spouse.
Of course you can lock your phone, but if you have never done that in the past, it only raises suspicion.

If you want to call, please make sure you use a service like Google Voice, in which you can set up a separate phone number and have your voice-mail and your call log off-site, and you can even use that number then to make calls from your phone to your lover.

5. Don't Get Sloppy

If your affair continues, don't think you are a pro. Because you are not. Don't do anything to raise suspicion, which also means that you should be really aware of what you are doing. Getting lazy and sloppy is the #1 reason of being caught. So, now that you are using a fictional character for your alter ego, a separate mail account on a web-based service (with an email address that matches your character), make sure you use difficult passwords that your spouse cannot guess. Make sure you never are satisfied with a password that doesn't come out 'strong' when the indicator when you make up one. This is a good thing to do anywhere, always, and not only for cheating. Also, never chose a password that you also use for your personal things.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you whine about having so many passwords to remember. Well, you want to cheat and not be caught, don't you? Well then, Man/Woman Up!

But don't make use of any services that make it easier to log in, or see your email faster. So, don't automatically store your passwords. Don't have your email box installed on your computer. Sure, it all takes longer, but it also prevents you from being caught.

6. Sex Smells!

Oh, so you finally made it to this passionate love happening. You meet him/her, and you share a passionate couple of hours between the sheets.
Keep in mind, being with someone is a smelly business. I don't mean it is a bad smell. Oh, I love the smell of sex, of a woman's vagina, her perfume... everything about her! But, well, smells have the tendencies to carry along. So, when you arrive home, your wife/husband might catch a whiff of your lover. And believe me, your spouse knows that smell.

True, men usually don't make the link with things that fast. But don't underestimate your ignorant husband, he knows the smell of sex. He might not immediately link it to you as a cheating wife, but be aware. And for you husbands... if she smells that, you're caught.

Cleany!

So, when you meet, prepare for it. In the planning, don't feel awkward to ask your lover not to wear perfume or after-shave/eau de Cologne. Sure, you want to look your best, with all the added fancies, but, just be very careful about it.

Now, that takes care of one of the two smell-issues. The sex smell itself though, is more difficult. I love giving the woman a lot of attention, also with the fingers and the tongue. And, no matter how well you wash afterwards, that smell goes away slowly. So, make sure you have a hand sanitizer in your car. One that is not sweet or lemon scented, but not scented at all. You don't want to smell all citrusy when you come home, that will rise even more suspicion.

If you give oral, believe me, your face smells too. Hand sanitizer won't do the trick here. Just clean up with preferably facial soap. And, go to your nearest Starbucks for a Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Why? Coffee and Cinnamon messes your breath up. Or go to your deli and order a salami-cheese sandwich. Salami has a lot of the same smell-components as the private parts, believe it or not. And the cheese has a fatty taste that can also be smelled. If you take one of these, and just behave normally... you'll be fine.

7. Act Normal

I just mentioned it, and this is important. Act normally. Don't feel threatened. If your spouse suspects something, they might test you. Even if they do, don't over act your role. Just, feel comfortable, and if you followed up on my points, there should not be something to worry about. Of course, there may be, simply do not give in to temptation to worry. That will raise a red flag with your spouse.

8. Set Rules

When you go into an extra-marriage affair, set rules with your partner. Don't set the rule that you won't have sex. It might sounds like a good ideal, but it is not. If you have a passionate love affair, there will be sex. Also, keep in mind, that it is the affair that is the problem, not the sex. If you are caught when having an affair, even if it is a sexless one, you could just as well have gone all the way.

Why?

Simple. Your spouse knows now not to trust you. So, why should he/she trust you when you say that there was no sex involved. You might speak the truth here, but it will only be considered a lie.

No, set rules like when you are available to write, or call (with Google Voice, mind you!). What might be possibilities to meet, where, and how. Always make sure you meet somewhere where you can clean up! And always make the rule of a code-word. Just like in BDSM, you need a word that your affair partner recognizes you by that something is wrong.

Actually, you need two. One to let the other one know there is danger ahead. The second code-word is the 'kill-switch' code-word. The first one make sure your partner immediately leaves you alone for the moment. The second one immediately terminates your relationship, no questions asked. This includes removing all emails, your Google Voice account, everything. Bye-bye. It might be difficult, but you don't want to take the risk.

9. Chose Your Partner Carefully

You can have followed up all these points stated previously. It will only work out, if your affair-partner does the same thing. And affair is like a balloon where both partners are responsible for one side. You might keep your side so safe, if your partner slips, the whole balloon will pop, also your beautifully safe side.

This is what got my affair out in the open. I did follow up on all the rules, my partner, almost. But she wanting to call me, and I had made the slip of letting her call me once. Once her husband became suspicious, he got hold of her phone, and she never cleared her phone list. All the other numbers he knew, mine, he did not.

Find an intelligent partner, and once it becomes serious, lay down the rules, and you have to be the judge of character if the person might not only be a wonderful lover, but also someone who treats the affair as well as you do. If you are married, I would always advice looking for a lover who is married too. Only then you know your partner values the secrecy and discretion as much as you do.

10. Always Respect Your Spouse

This list only works if you are one of the cheaters who still loves their spouse. You know that the affair might hurt them badly (keep in mind, statistics show that there are a lot of marriages with both partners cheating, you might not be alone ;-) ). Keep in mind this is not about you, your affair will affect both of you. Even if your spouse does not find out.

If you start an affair, you have to consider the consequences when it comes out. That it might end your marriage, the loss of custody over the children or the pets, and maybe losing your house. Take a moment to think about this, and ask yourself, is it really worth all that?
Then, when you thought about that, look at your spouse tonight, see him or her as he or she is in the normal life. And then imagine really hurting them emotionally to the bone.
Then, make the decision again.

I don't want to be a buzzkill, but having an affair is something with far reaching consequences. And you will understand now why I mention these 10 points. Once you are in an affair, keep in mind that ultimately, your spouse is in control of your marriage and everything you own. Maybe he/she doesn't know that yet, but that doesn't make it any less so.

Good couple... using the condoms. They were stronger than I was

Also, and please do, have protection. Yes, in my previous post I talked about the wonder of having sex without protection, but I also mention that as a man, you have to plan that far, far ahead. So, start now. Buy a pack of condoms, have a very secret place to hide them (not in the car!!!!) or simply buy them once you go out to meet your partner (and throw the remainder out. Yes, it costs a couple of dollars more, but you don't want to get caught).
You affair partner might as well be carrying an STD. Don't take it home. Also, if your partner confesses to have an std, stop the relationship immediately. Even if there is the promise of sex. Don't do it. Even if you think that wearing a condom is preventing you from getting it, just, don't do it!
And STD will put your affair in the spotlight. But not only that, you expose your spouse to it.

The End

So, these 10 points might take the fun out of the thought of cheating a bit. But you can thank me later. And if you do, enjoy your affair to the fullest. And all these rules will become normal to you within no-time. And you will have the most delicious, sexual, passionate relationship.

Also, keep in mind, an affair might also be the solution to a dormant marriage. Don't always discard an affair as being bad for the marriage...

The Honest Cheater Begins...

I Cheat.

Yes, I have cheated in the past, I have been cheated on, and most likely, I will again cheat in the future. So, let's get that out in the open. So to make very clear, this will be a blog about cheating. Not the cheating in games, or hiding some Ace of Spades up your sleeve. Nope, I mean the top sport under all married people, the things we all love to deny so very much... cheating on your spouse or significant other.

The reason why I want to start this blog? It is actually very simple, I could not find one. Not one that was honest. Hence, the title of this blog. I will be the honest cheater. I will be honest about my personal opinion about it, but also let you all in on some of the things that happened to me, problems, solutions etc.

But, before half of the readers might go into a frenzy, I think almost every cheater knows and understand this... but there is more to cheating that betraying a partner. Nobody got into a marriage or long-term relationship to just walk off with someone else. And I was an idealistic person in the past, and thought it would never happen to me... but the world is a bit different than I thought.

So, yes, this will be a blog about cheating. And yes, it will also be sexual too. But I also would like you to just feel welcome here on my blog. Opinions are always allowed, and I know there will be a lot of opinions with people who will be reading this. But my message is; let's stay civilized.

So, let me first introduce myself... which I will do in the next posting.