Young, Old and Everything In-Between

Actually, my whole entire sexual life I have had mostly women who were older than I was. The very first older woman was actually 25 years older, and she still is one of the best lovers I have ever had. It is the classic tale of a mother in a broken marriage, and I who had been good friends for a long time. She was a lawyer, and because of my knowledge of computers and IT, I handled some computer work in her office.


It might not be everyone's thing, but
I think mature women are stunning!

After a year, helping her out one time, she kissed me while leaving, and then pulled me back into her house, into her bedroom, and gave me my first blowjob. As I mentioned before, I was not early into the world of sex, and she knew my ideology about sex, so she mentioned also that it would not go beyond a blowjob. And it went all the way with that, even when I told her I was about to come, she kept sucking me, letting me ejaculate in her mouth, and swallowing it.

I lost my virginity two weeks later to my Scandinavian girlfriend. And when we broke up, I again spend more time with this older woman. And from that moment on, it did not end with just blowjobs. Over the years we met regularly, having incredible sex, masturbating together, and her showing me how she could ejaculate - a mental image that will never leave me!

But I have had more older women. Some ranging to a 20 years older till my age. And they were all married or divorced women, looking for more pleasure at that time. And I found out that having sex this way was not only an 'easy' way to have sex, in my opinion older women knew much better what they wanted with sex, and what they were good at.



But such a young woman is also so incredibly
sexy... I have to experience that once.

I actually never had sex with a younger girl. Even up till now, the only younger woman I have had sex with is my wife, and she is just one year younger. And believe me, I would love to try that once, having sex with a beautiful younger girl, in her twenties, still exploring her sexuality. My only problem is that now that my idea is that older women can be so good in bed, that I fear maybe a younger girl might not be. Stupid of course, but still.

And also because every woman is different, it maybe has nothing to do with age. But, I hope to be one to find out myself one day...

How My Morales Flew Out The Window

My first experience with cheating was way, way before I got married, and way before I even met the wonderful woman who eventually would become my wife. My first experience with it was actually the other way around; I was the one who was cheated on.

Ah, a non-sexual image! Sorry, but it fit the story here.

I actually was this very naive, idealistic and moralistic boy who had his mind set on a couple of things;
1. I would love my virginity to the one and true one.
2. I would always stay faithful.

Heh... yeah... right.

Well, that is what I thought at that moment. And because of #1 I stayed a virgin well into my twenties. Not because I didn't have a possibility to lose it, but simply because I of course did not have the guts to even approach the girl I fell in love with. Long story short, a long, long time later, I met this Scandinavian girl. It took a while, but eventually we fell in love, and became this couple, completely consumed by each other. And the best of all, she also was extremely into sex. Into many different fetishes of which she introduced many into my life that still form a lot of my sexual desires.

This all went very fine. Sex was an incredible part of our relationship, and for me my sexual life went from 0 to 60mph overnight. We could be walking somewhere, and she would drag me in the shrubs, unbutton my pants and gave me the best blow-job ever right there. Or she could drag me into a crowded women's restroom, into a stall, lock it, and fuck me right there.

She always tried to pick the hotels that had the mirrors around us, because she wanted us both to see everything, from every angle, in all the detail.

But don't get me wrong, it was not that it was too much. No, the sex was amazing, but our relationship was incredible as well. Well, we had too make the best of it, because we saw each other only twice a year for a couple of weeks. Then she had to go back, or I did.

And visiting in Northern Scandinavia itself was special too. Making love outside while the Northern Lights showed up above us. Enjoying the sauna's and then, in between sessions, walking outside in the snow naked to let our bodies cool off.

But also here, I was too naive. Knowing that a woman was so filled with desire, could mean only two things; or she built up that desire over the time that we did not see each other, or, she always had this... and she then would have to find a relief.
Of course, at that moment, I did not even consider the second option.

Well, until Christmas Eve came by and in the middle of the night I received a phone-call, and between the moans I heard the voice of my drunken girlfriend, asking me if I could guess what she was doing. Of course, my heart sank, while she explained me that at that moment she was being banged by her former boyfriend. It was the shortest phone-call we have ever had.

Of course, it doesn't go like this, but this might be described how it feels.

The next day she called back, apologetic, telling me she never meant that to happen, but she was drunk, and needed it. And she also mentioned she thought I might enjoy the thought she was fucking while I had her on the phone. That I might be into that.

That marked the end of our relationship, and I was broken at the time. And I promised, never, ever to do that to someone I loved. Ever.

Well, and here I am, writing a blog about my cheating. Sigh. Sometimes I cannot even think about the hurt I might have brought to my wife when I confessed to doing it. There are many excuses that I might have to talk it all right, but, in the end... is there any good excuse? And I honestly mean this question, I see both the good and the bad in cheating.

Look, as it showed in the statistics I told about yesterday, half of all married women and married man cheat. And these are people who admit to it. There is a whole bunch of people who will not admit to it. So, let's assume that out of every 5 married couples you know, at lest 3 of the men and 3 of the women cheat. And a lot of these people will tell the world how bad it is. How irresponsible and bad you are behaving.

But it seems to be that only the minority is really faithful. And sure, there are many reasons, right and wrong, to be cheating. But I do think that a lot of relationships would not have to deal with it, as long as they communicate well. But, as it was also in our marriage, along the way, you start to keep sexual desires to yourself, because you are afraid that your spouse might not be into it.

After I confessed, we were forced to really talk about the lack of sex; the why, and how to continue. None of us wanted the marriage to fail. So, after that, there was nothing to hold back, and the darkest secrets came up. Mind you, I was not the only one with secrets, although I was the only one with the physical contacts.

And from that moment on, it seemed that we started to understand how this game works. This was just a significant part of our marriage; knowing each other. Now that my wife knows a lot of my sexual fetishes and desires, it is easier to talk about it. Also the other way around. And even though there are some medical reasons why sex will not return into our marriage, the sexual mindset has been discovered. There is more privacy, and we have a no-tell rule about physical contacts which I will explain more in detail in a later posting.

Anyway, we found a way to make it more or less work in our marriage. And instead of tearing the marriage apart, it seemed that the cheating somehow brought us closer together.

And that made me look back onto my old views on the world. Sex is an important part of life, affection even more, and showing someone your love even more. And just like with anything else that might be broken, you can fix it. Sometimes with the original parts; sometimes with new parts that you get somewhere else.

A Delicious Meeting (A Cheater's Confession)

Well, I can't write a blog about cheating, without actually going into a couple of the adventures once in a while. And I have been on the different sides of the cheating; the one cheating, the one cheated upon, and the one cheated with. So, let me start out with a short one. This actually was one of the times that I met simply for the sex.

I met Jasmine online just 4 hours before I actually met her. And when I actually met her, we were in bed together within 5 minutes, and she had me in herself. The reason why I met her was simply because I was absolutely not thinking clearly, and posted a very direct posting online; the lack of sex for months and months, made me long so much for sexual attention, that I decided to post on Craigslist that I was simply looking for a hand job. Not even anything else, I just wanted so badly to feel a warm hand taking me and just releasing me.

Now, what is wrong with this picture? Ehm, Craisgslist. Even though it has gotten me into many very good situations, it is a wonder that I haven't had any negative experiences with it. So, when Jasmine responded not even half an hour after posting. She would not mind meeting me, but I had to come to her apartment. And with the message she sent me a photo of a pretty, early-twenty something black girl who lived not even ten minutes from my work. So, yes, to make sure there was no con, we decided to make a short phone-call before actually meeting. And on the other side of the phone she picked up, in a low voice that I actually started to worry if this might not be a guy who simply sounded a bit girlish.




Ah, those soft hands!

But hey, a horny man is not always on his most intelligent behavior, and I went over there, got to her apartment, and knocked. And every bit inside of me mentioned that I should maybe not do it, but, before I could think about anything, the door opened, and she was there, inviting me into a very empty apartment. The first thing I noticed was that she was taller than I was, and I am a good 6'3" But she was very pretty indeed. After a really weird quick introduction, she immediately invited me into the bedroom to lay down on the bed, and take my pants of. She set next to me, placed her hand on my immediately growing penis. Her soft hands did magic on me, while she did not even really seemed to put much afterthought in it. She held me between her fingers, looked at me while she slowly moved my skin up and down slowly. Then she looked at me, and said that it actually turned her on doing this. We both said nothing until just a few moments later, she looked at me again, while I had difficulties to pay attention while enjoying her incredible movements of her hand. "Can I fuck you?"

 

Now, this was really what I could not believe. Posting I would desperately love to receive a hand-job again, and this wonderful black lady mentions then she wants to fuck with me. And what was I to say? I could not say anything, but mumbled something that must have been approval of some sort or the other. She stood up, let her single-piece dress fall of her body, stepped out of her panties, and crawled towards me onto the bed. Her kisses were absolutely to die for, and without hesitation I felt her hand again on me, pointing me straight up, and the tips of her warm lips touched the head of my cock. Then, in one quick movement, she pushed her pussy over my cock, pressing her buttocks against my pelvis. And she had not been lying that it had turned her on. There was hardly the feeling of any resistance of the amounts of liquids that she was producing that acted as the best lubricant. Her rhythmic movements of her body were smooth, and delicious. Her breasts playing with my face. Feeling myself deeply inside of her made me crazy, and holding her head between my hands, we kissed deeply while our bodies never stopped their intimate dance.

Every time that I wanted her to change a position, she pressed me back into bed, while shy sat up straight and rode me the most perfect way. Her movements became teasing, and she looked at me when she felt that my cock started to make the familiar pulsating movements. Without any hurry to avoid me ejaculating inside of her, she got my cock at the root while I felt my sperm being launched, and it her pussy just as she stepped off me. She immediately looked at my semen-shooting cock , and studied it while I was still oozing. This attention was so incredible. She really enjoyed doing this, as had I. While laying there for a moment, she looked at me again and only mentioned that she would love to have that happening again soon. And that was it. I got dressed, she kissed me at the door, and I left. Awkward, but absolutely intense.

And yes, we did meet one other time, which was mostly the same intense encounter.  It might in many ways be not the smartest thing to do, but it was one of my most intense encounters. Even if it meant going in for another STD-check, Jasmine was absolutely amazing. Sure, the guild hit me a bit later, since I am not the guy for sex-only encounters. I like to know the person I am with, making it very special. But I have to admit, Jasmine was the only exception.

The Hard Work That Is Cheating

Cheating is hard, very hard work.

Well, of course, I am not talking about the act of the cheating itself, but to keep it all under control. So even if you are just contemplating to look for love outside of your marriage, keep in mind, it is difficult. Unless of course you don't give about the fact that it can seriously hurt, or destroy your current relation completely. For those people, well, cheating might be a way to finish whatever you had with your significant other, but then it seems that your relationship had ended already a long time ago.

Cheating is delicious, but also quite risky... but delicious nontheless

No, I assume that still the majority of the cheaters - and keep in mind, 57% of all married men admit to having an affair during their marriage, and 54% of all married women admit to it - have looked and experienced love outside their marriage (read more statistics here) have done it while still loving their marriage. So, it is more about finding something that you have lost in your marriage over the years than wanting to hurt your spouse or even risk your marriage. That means that the affair needs to stay hidden.

And, well, if you are contemplating to find another person to love, be prepared. Because keeping that a secret requires a lot of discipline. Because, according to the same statistics, only 31% of the marriages in which an affair has been discovered, continues.
And myself, being one of the ones who had admitted to having an affair to my wife count myself lucky the be the one still having my marriage. Because, and you can read that in previous postings, I love my marriage. Just, it is not perfect. By far not.

Anyway, here are some things you really, really need to prepare before you even are going on your search:

1. Ignore The Temptation

This is one of the things I found the hardest. Once you connect with someone, you are reunited with your old friends; butterflies. And you will feel the same way as you did in high school when the object of your affection even gave you a glimpse of attention during math class.
And if you remember that time, and can recall your own behavior, your mind was pretty much occupied. Well, that will happen again.

And as you might know, once someone is feeling that feeling of love again, you can read it from their behavior. So, rule numbero uno! Stay in control of yourself, dude! When you are with your spouse, try to keep the other one off your mind, and try to be aware of your own behavior.

This also means, not wanting to check your email all the time. If you haven't done that before, you surely don't want to raise suspicions right now.

2. Multi-task!

If you are a techie, you know what the real description of multi-tasking is. Believe me, it is not what every woman tells when she mention she can, and you can't multi-task. Real multi-tasking is to do 2 or more completely different things, at exactly the same time, in their own environments.

So, you have to become this person who is two people at the same time. Once you decide to cheat, you will not be a wife or husband with a girlfriend or boyfriend on the side. No. You will be a wife and a husband. AND you will be a boyfriend or girlfriend of your affair-partner. And you will keep those two apart.

This is why you hear enough people talking about having two phones. One is their personal phone, the other one their sex-phone. I think that is actually overkill, but it is good to keep it all separated. Make sure you have different email addresses for the affair partner, and that he or she doesn't know your real email address.

A little bit too much of a alter ego, but sexy it is

3. Role-Play

Continuing on that; now that you understand you have to create a separate ego for your affair, let's take the role-playing a little bit further. Give yourself a new name too. Keep your first name (otherwise you will mix names up when your lover is talking to you) but change your last name. And while we are at it, also change your age about 2 years. You will still look the part, but you are not easy to spot. Also, make your alter ego a lot like you, this will keep you natural in your acting. Don't make it completely the same.

Also, when you are getting used to your role as this alter ego, you will notice advice #2 will be easier to handle. Because in the end, you will switch completely over to your normal self when you come home.

4. Don't Call!

It is so tempting to call... but don't!

Calling is one of two direct forms of communication you can have. The other one is meeting. Calling is also the one thing that is most easily traced. Believe me, this is why I got in trouble. With emailing with someone else, there is a good way to hide your tracks without having to be a hacker. Just simply using a web based email system (never use your own email on your computer itself) is fine as long as you chose a difficult password and don't attach your photo to it.

But calling, no matter how, is tracked to your phone, and your phone provider can always show directly who called, or who you called with. Not only that, it shows the number in the tracking list. And this is easily found on your phone by your spouse.
Of course you can lock your phone, but if you have never done that in the past, it only raises suspicion.

If you want to call, please make sure you use a service like Google Voice, in which you can set up a separate phone number and have your voice-mail and your call log off-site, and you can even use that number then to make calls from your phone to your lover.

5. Don't Get Sloppy

If your affair continues, don't think you are a pro. Because you are not. Don't do anything to raise suspicion, which also means that you should be really aware of what you are doing. Getting lazy and sloppy is the #1 reason of being caught. So, now that you are using a fictional character for your alter ego, a separate mail account on a web-based service (with an email address that matches your character), make sure you use difficult passwords that your spouse cannot guess. Make sure you never are satisfied with a password that doesn't come out 'strong' when the indicator when you make up one. This is a good thing to do anywhere, always, and not only for cheating. Also, never chose a password that you also use for your personal things.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you whine about having so many passwords to remember. Well, you want to cheat and not be caught, don't you? Well then, Man/Woman Up!

But don't make use of any services that make it easier to log in, or see your email faster. So, don't automatically store your passwords. Don't have your email box installed on your computer. Sure, it all takes longer, but it also prevents you from being caught.

6. Sex Smells!

Oh, so you finally made it to this passionate love happening. You meet him/her, and you share a passionate couple of hours between the sheets.
Keep in mind, being with someone is a smelly business. I don't mean it is a bad smell. Oh, I love the smell of sex, of a woman's vagina, her perfume... everything about her! But, well, smells have the tendencies to carry along. So, when you arrive home, your wife/husband might catch a whiff of your lover. And believe me, your spouse knows that smell.

True, men usually don't make the link with things that fast. But don't underestimate your ignorant husband, he knows the smell of sex. He might not immediately link it to you as a cheating wife, but be aware. And for you husbands... if she smells that, you're caught.

Cleany!

So, when you meet, prepare for it. In the planning, don't feel awkward to ask your lover not to wear perfume or after-shave/eau de Cologne. Sure, you want to look your best, with all the added fancies, but, just be very careful about it.

Now, that takes care of one of the two smell-issues. The sex smell itself though, is more difficult. I love giving the woman a lot of attention, also with the fingers and the tongue. And, no matter how well you wash afterwards, that smell goes away slowly. So, make sure you have a hand sanitizer in your car. One that is not sweet or lemon scented, but not scented at all. You don't want to smell all citrusy when you come home, that will rise even more suspicion.

If you give oral, believe me, your face smells too. Hand sanitizer won't do the trick here. Just clean up with preferably facial soap. And, go to your nearest Starbucks for a Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Why? Coffee and Cinnamon messes your breath up. Or go to your deli and order a salami-cheese sandwich. Salami has a lot of the same smell-components as the private parts, believe it or not. And the cheese has a fatty taste that can also be smelled. If you take one of these, and just behave normally... you'll be fine.

7. Act Normal

I just mentioned it, and this is important. Act normally. Don't feel threatened. If your spouse suspects something, they might test you. Even if they do, don't over act your role. Just, feel comfortable, and if you followed up on my points, there should not be something to worry about. Of course, there may be, simply do not give in to temptation to worry. That will raise a red flag with your spouse.

8. Set Rules

When you go into an extra-marriage affair, set rules with your partner. Don't set the rule that you won't have sex. It might sounds like a good ideal, but it is not. If you have a passionate love affair, there will be sex. Also, keep in mind, that it is the affair that is the problem, not the sex. If you are caught when having an affair, even if it is a sexless one, you could just as well have gone all the way.

Why?

Simple. Your spouse knows now not to trust you. So, why should he/she trust you when you say that there was no sex involved. You might speak the truth here, but it will only be considered a lie.

No, set rules like when you are available to write, or call (with Google Voice, mind you!). What might be possibilities to meet, where, and how. Always make sure you meet somewhere where you can clean up! And always make the rule of a code-word. Just like in BDSM, you need a word that your affair partner recognizes you by that something is wrong.

Actually, you need two. One to let the other one know there is danger ahead. The second code-word is the 'kill-switch' code-word. The first one make sure your partner immediately leaves you alone for the moment. The second one immediately terminates your relationship, no questions asked. This includes removing all emails, your Google Voice account, everything. Bye-bye. It might be difficult, but you don't want to take the risk.

9. Chose Your Partner Carefully

You can have followed up all these points stated previously. It will only work out, if your affair-partner does the same thing. And affair is like a balloon where both partners are responsible for one side. You might keep your side so safe, if your partner slips, the whole balloon will pop, also your beautifully safe side.

This is what got my affair out in the open. I did follow up on all the rules, my partner, almost. But she wanting to call me, and I had made the slip of letting her call me once. Once her husband became suspicious, he got hold of her phone, and she never cleared her phone list. All the other numbers he knew, mine, he did not.

Find an intelligent partner, and once it becomes serious, lay down the rules, and you have to be the judge of character if the person might not only be a wonderful lover, but also someone who treats the affair as well as you do. If you are married, I would always advice looking for a lover who is married too. Only then you know your partner values the secrecy and discretion as much as you do.

10. Always Respect Your Spouse

This list only works if you are one of the cheaters who still loves their spouse. You know that the affair might hurt them badly (keep in mind, statistics show that there are a lot of marriages with both partners cheating, you might not be alone ;-) ). Keep in mind this is not about you, your affair will affect both of you. Even if your spouse does not find out.

If you start an affair, you have to consider the consequences when it comes out. That it might end your marriage, the loss of custody over the children or the pets, and maybe losing your house. Take a moment to think about this, and ask yourself, is it really worth all that?
Then, when you thought about that, look at your spouse tonight, see him or her as he or she is in the normal life. And then imagine really hurting them emotionally to the bone.
Then, make the decision again.

I don't want to be a buzzkill, but having an affair is something with far reaching consequences. And you will understand now why I mention these 10 points. Once you are in an affair, keep in mind that ultimately, your spouse is in control of your marriage and everything you own. Maybe he/she doesn't know that yet, but that doesn't make it any less so.

Good couple... using the condoms. They were stronger than I was

Also, and please do, have protection. Yes, in my previous post I talked about the wonder of having sex without protection, but I also mention that as a man, you have to plan that far, far ahead. So, start now. Buy a pack of condoms, have a very secret place to hide them (not in the car!!!!) or simply buy them once you go out to meet your partner (and throw the remainder out. Yes, it costs a couple of dollars more, but you don't want to get caught).
You affair partner might as well be carrying an STD. Don't take it home. Also, if your partner confesses to have an std, stop the relationship immediately. Even if there is the promise of sex. Don't do it. Even if you think that wearing a condom is preventing you from getting it, just, don't do it!
And STD will put your affair in the spotlight. But not only that, you expose your spouse to it.

The End

So, these 10 points might take the fun out of the thought of cheating a bit. But you can thank me later. And if you do, enjoy your affair to the fullest. And all these rules will become normal to you within no-time. And you will have the most delicious, sexual, passionate relationship.

Also, keep in mind, an affair might also be the solution to a dormant marriage. Don't always discard an affair as being bad for the marriage...

Protection? What Protection?

Wrong... but so good!

Yes, I mentioned it in my previous posting; with the Nepali woman, there was no protection. No condom, no discussion about it, and she even had me ejaculating deep inside of her...

Smart? Well... no.

I have my bachelor's degree, make a six-figure income, have tagged an IQ of 141 with an official testing, but in the end, I am also a guy. And guys, when promised sex, don't think. When a woman grabs you, holds your penis, and hovers over you, the voice that is shouting that you should wear a rubber is bound and gagged and completely ignored.
I don't know how it is with women, I don't hold that knowledge, but a man needs to think and plan the usage of condoms in advance.

And I had them with me. Actually, we did not expect to have sex at all. The reason why I visited the woman was because I needed to pick up my sheets for work after the weekend. I actually forgot the sheets. Why did I then have the condoms with me? Well, I hoped something might happen... but that it happened that fast, and so intense, was completely unexpected.

But I have been trained in the past; every time I ended up having sex with a woman without protection (ehm, it has happened about three times... maybe four...) I actually went for a test. Not the default right-that-same-day test, but the long one, which also rules out HIV. Because although being lost in the sexual pleasure, then the responsibility has to be taken afterwards. In the end, I don't want to bring home an STD.

So yes, in all my wisdom, still, the thought of being naked in a woman, holding her tight as you feel yourself releasing in her, is almost primitively magnificent. I don't know if it is the primal idea of impregnating a woman that makes this feeling happen, but one thing is true, there is a feeling that at least I experience when entering a woman au naturel.

Let me mention though, every time when it happened, it was the lady's initiative. I do always mention the condoms, but, yes, the flesh is weak... if she doesn't care, somehow my mind goes into stand-by mode. I should know better, but clearly, I don't.

Sigh.

It All Is About Sex

When your sex life gets boring... what can you expect?

As I have written in my earlier postings, I mention that my life as a cheater nowadays did not started happening because of lack of sex alone, but also because the lack of passion and affection in the marriage. It is not gone, it is just, not there. Does that make any sense? I think to a lot of you, who are in the same situation, it does, but a lot of people might not completely understand it.

My wife and I are crazy about each other. Married for a long, long time, I still cannot imagine myself being married to anyone else. The physical affection, the kissing, the sex, it is not, let's say, consumed. It is not that we have a loveless marriage, or that we are now simply good friends... no. We simply do not have it. It is like having a bag of rice in your pantry, but you don't eat it. It is there, but you don't eat it. Not because someone forgot about it, but because one of them just doesn't feel about eating rice. And you don't cook something special if you know the other doesn't feel like eating it.

That is different than having a loveless marriage that simply has no sex in it or any other kind of physical affection anymore. I would personally not call it a marriage anymore because every emotional reason to be connected to each other is gone.

So, two complete different categories. I am in the first. Which is also why the cheating is not completely without a feeling of guilt. And also, even though I mentioned not being a player, I might have to retract that statement. Because, well, I am looking for a woman with who to have an affair, not a one night stand. I want to love, be with someone, but like I said also in the text above, the love itself I find in my marriage. So, if I have to be honest, I might have to put myself a bit in the player field. And that, ehm... well... makes me being into it for... the sex.

I never thought I could be this shallow... :-)



No sex on the dining room table

Alright, I'd better confess up to it. Yes. I absolutely miss the sex. And everything with it. Sex for me is pure passion, love and lust. I want to be with a woman so intimately, as close to her as possible. I want to feel her, her heat, see her gorgeous body, lick her, fuck her, come inside of her. And not in a  quick way, no, I love to take the time, explore her body, have her explore mine. I love spontaneous sex, that the lust is so unbearable that you have to do it right there and then. Something, my wife and I do not have, and never had. Oh, we had that unbearable feeling of needing sex from each other right then and there but it never became spontaneous 'let-me-fuck-you-on-the-table' sex. No. The table is for eating, and she would never do it right there.

And... argh! That is what I would love! Having passionate sex, then and there, not worrying too much of where it is, what we might be doing there tomorrow, or what kind of juices might smear the carpet. I, for example, love the juicy kind of sex. My wife not so much. She calls me gross in that, I call it explicitly delicious. But then, sex is also not really possible for her anymore, without physical problems. And that is where the love plays a part in this. I don't want to bug her about sex, if I know that she does not really want it, but then also not really can.

And I have been with women that simply love the sex, that were so passionate, so incredible about it. One time with meeting the girl for the first time, a gorgeous Nepali woman, kissing within literally seconds when I walked through the door of her townhouse, and getting so passionate with kissing, that I whispered in her ear that I wanted her. She looked me straight in the eyes, said nothing, stood up, pulled down my pants, her panties, and kept my erect cock straight while she sat over it.

* spoiler alert - yes, without protection *

Now, let me get into that. There is no excuse, none whatsoever, that you don't wear a rubber as a guy when you cheat. Period. And for a woman, there is no excuse not to make him wear a rubber. You don't owe that to your self and your partner, but also to your spouse.
Still, I absolutely know very well why it doesn't happen so many times, because the passion is there, but also, it is so fucking good. Feeling the naked skin is so incredible. But I will go into that in deeper detail in my next posting.

 

Anyway, the sex with this wonderful woman, with who I had a 4 month affair, was absolutely amazing. That night our love making took four hours, and it simply was pure lust. And it was not just foreplay, or fucking, it was everything together. We simply could not stop, and the arousal was on such a high lever that we could not stop touching each other, even after all the orgasms we experienced that night. Just seeing her fingering herself after I had come inside of her, immediately turned me on again. And we did it in every room of her little townhouse. The couch, the dinging room table, the floor, the bed, the bath... she probably had to dry-clean every single shred of cloth in her house after that night.

But that is what I meant, the thing that I was so lucky to experience. The sex that was so intense. So amazing.

So, yes, I will admit. I am shallow, and fuck, I absolutely am looking for sex. Not just with anyone, mind you! But, yes, absolutely looking.

The Day After

Ah, I have to write a little post in follow-up to my previous one, mentioning the meeting of the woman for a potential affair... and it shows actually that cheating is not always that easy to get going; due to all kinds of happenings, planning issues and trouble we were not able to even meet, let alone call. Awww... so this absolutely will get a sequel, and I will keep you up to date.

The Night Before

I could not write a blog about cheating, if I would not be totally honest. I am not a player in the field. I am not with different women all the time. Actually, I have not been with very many. And finding someone is a selection process. Oh, in the past I have been with different kind of women, but I could never enjoy the one night stand thing. There was lust, but no passion. And I felt guilty afterwards, and that was when I was not cheating. I decided back then, sex had to be more than just that. It was not just about sticking it in and come to an orgasm. No. Especially when risking all while cheating, there has to be more than just sex.

About a year ago, I 'met' a woman online, just with emailing, and we got more and more entangled in private conversations. And I think there is some kind of sixth sense under cheaters to recognize each other, and we found out soon enough that we were both in the same situation. But it took much longer to actually think about meeting.

But!

Tomorrow we will. Quit unexpected I have a meeting scheduled in the village she works in, and as if there is luck involved, we just started talking again after a hiatus of silence. And although this is not a meeting for sex, we both have already aroused each other enough to know we want it both. But not tomorrow. I insist first of meeting in a public place, not because of safety, but simply, to find out if a person in real is the person we both would like to take the risk with. You can write anything, and make someone go crazy about you, but if there is no spark, it is not going to happen.

I am a guy, and with enough absence of sex in my life, lust would drive me to do it with anyone, so, that first meeting has to be with my mind in control. Although in our emails we have discussed the scenarios of both wanting it so much that at a Starbucks, when we met, we rip each other's clothes off, and me penetrating her in the comfy chairs, forgetting everyone around us, bringing ourselves to intense orgasms under the watchful eyes of our audience.

Ah, but no, tomorrow there will be coffee... And most likely a kiss.

Who is the Honest Cheater?

Alright, I cannot begin this blog, without introducing myself.

I am Peter, in my early forties  guess it or not; I am actually happily married and have two children. Both girls and although I still do not understand them, and being a guy - I most likely never will, I love them till death. Just like I love my wife, mind you.

My wife knows about the cheating. I was more or less forced into a position where I had to confess to it, which was hard. Sure, I have a gazillion different excuses why I cheated, but in the end, that didn't matter. I had to tell her.

We were lucky. Although it caused first a pretty large speed-bump on the road of our relationship, now, a year later, it has made our marriage stronger than ever.

I have been growing up being an honest virgin for 24 years. No kidding. Not that I was some kind of hunchback, mind you. I actually was pretty popular with the girls growing up, but I still had my mind set on finding miss Right and experience my first sex with her. Sure, I masturbated like crazy from the moment I first found out that that thing between my legs was a far better toy than Lego. And I never stopped.
And just like I have a passion for pornography. Yup, although most of it is crap, I like the visual arts around erotica that is actually meant for arousal. So, even nowadays, I masturbate a lot, and look at a lot of porn. And my wife is absolutely okay with it. Well, she was, but for me, it was a bit weird.

Sex is important in our marriage, but it is not there.We both love to see it, but it is not there. We actually own a photo production studio where erotica is one of the big things, but we don't have sex. We want to, but can't. A hormonal disorder with my wife renders her almost lust-less. And I could still live with that. But hormones do more than making a woman horny, it also controls anything with affection; and we lost that. And at one moment, after 8 years, I gave up. I simply gave up trying to get some passion in our marriage. I love my wife, and did not want to confront her anymore with telling her that did not work out this way. I don't want to have sex when she doesn't want to.

So, I actually found the easy way to avoid it all. Finding a woman who would love to experience an encounter was not hard to find. Craigslist, in the end, was just a playground, as I found out. And I tried beating around the bush when women responded on my posting, but that never worked out. Until, I found out I just had to be honest. I remember that the header was 'Cheater is looking for someone to cheat with'. And the lottery fell; as I found out, I was anything but the only married person looking for simple affection. It was not about the sex! So many people, just, lacking the passion in their marriage way before they even were in their thirties, and starting to realize that the rest of their lives would be passion-less and sex-less.

And believe me, the first time I thought it was about missing sex. I actually underestimated myself, and found women who loved to simply invite me over for sex. It was easy, quick, but for me, it did not satisfy what I thought I was missing. Sure, we had sex, and it was passionate, but over time, I found out sex to me alone is not what I was lacking... it needed to be a package deal. Passion, attraction and sex. Not just sex alone. And even that was found (and I will describe these experiences in all detail in future postings). Long story short; this beautiful and wonderful Latina lady was caught by her husband. And her husband started threatening me. I honestly cannot blame him, but, if my wife would learn it from anyone, it had to be me.

So, I confessed. And she got sad, then angry... and then she left for her parents...

And then, earlier than I had ever expected, she came back. To be honest, her mother had sent her back. Not to give me hell to pay, but actually, my wife apologized. Which, I don't think she ever had to do, but still, she did. And the thing she apologized for was for neglecting me. Don't get me wrong, she still hated my guts for cheating, but actually, we discovered that we needed to talk. And we did, and we learned to simply be open about ourselves, even if it means complaining about our relationship with constructive criticism. And so everything was spoken about, our marriage, sex, lack of, but also, fantasies, lust... and I think we learned more about each other than ever before.

Aha, all's well that ends well? Well... the readers who paid a little attention, noticed the mentioning of  '...and will most likely do it in the future again' reference in my first blog post. Yes, our marriage did not magically heal. We talk, we understand, but things are not perfect. Which also will be talked about in detail in the future.

But, that is a little bit about me, and the cheating during my marriage. Oh, there are a lot of stories to tell. And they all will be written, shared, yes, also in graphical detail... so, join in on the conversation if you want to, or follow my blog...

The Honest Cheater Begins...

I Cheat.

Yes, I have cheated in the past, I have been cheated on, and most likely, I will again cheat in the future. So, let's get that out in the open. So to make very clear, this will be a blog about cheating. Not the cheating in games, or hiding some Ace of Spades up your sleeve. Nope, I mean the top sport under all married people, the things we all love to deny so very much... cheating on your spouse or significant other.

The reason why I want to start this blog? It is actually very simple, I could not find one. Not one that was honest. Hence, the title of this blog. I will be the honest cheater. I will be honest about my personal opinion about it, but also let you all in on some of the things that happened to me, problems, solutions etc.

But, before half of the readers might go into a frenzy, I think almost every cheater knows and understand this... but there is more to cheating that betraying a partner. Nobody got into a marriage or long-term relationship to just walk off with someone else. And I was an idealistic person in the past, and thought it would never happen to me... but the world is a bit different than I thought.

So, yes, this will be a blog about cheating. And yes, it will also be sexual too. But I also would like you to just feel welcome here on my blog. Opinions are always allowed, and I know there will be a lot of opinions with people who will be reading this. But my message is; let's stay civilized.

So, let me first introduce myself... which I will do in the next posting.