Did I get the hots for my Masseuse?

It has been a while. Sit down, it is so nice to see you again. Yes, I know, too much time has gone by.
Yes, I remember writing about sex, liked my advice? Or the stories?
Good. I am glad you did.

Well, I was not able to keep that going? What not? Ah, the thing of being still this honorable guy, finding ways to incorporate some level of sex in my life outside of my marriage and still do it in such a way I would not feel guilty.

I failed miserably.

Oh, the marriage is fine. Better than it always has been. The sex still is most present by its absence and as I posted in my previous postings, over a year ago, is that I found a lot of release in the massages that provided me a happy ending. Actually, I shared this also with my wife, who actually did not mind. As long as it happened by hand, she saw it very much as a solution as well.
Keep in mind, as a refresher, we both knew very well that the void that existed in our sex life for my wife's medical reasons, had to be taken care of in some way to release that stress. And these massages seemed to be a wonderful solution to the problem. And they were.

One day, at the end of last year, I ended up with a problem at work; I sprained something in my back, and it hurt like hell. It was not something massive, but my left shoulder was all but working painlessly. But my regular legit massage place had a fully booked day. But, they mentioned, they also had a chain store actually close to my work. So I called them. And they would check what they could provide, as they had someone quit her job that morning, so they had a problem in their planning. They would call me back.
Ten minutes later I got that promised call. They could not take care of it, but, the masseuse that quit also had her own side-business, and she would take care of it if I wanted to based on the credit I had with the chain itself, and they would cover the costs out of my account. The only issue, I had to drive to her place which was in downtown Philly. I got her information, called her up, and she was nice and sounded proper, and would take care of me that evening.

When I arrived at the place, I wished that I had not. That was not downtown Philly, that was down and scary Philly. She was waiting on the front-porch, to help me get in. As it seemed to be, she did not have a side-business, but needed the money and planned to move back to Nevada. And she lived in with this family that clearly had money to spend on buying dope than spend on their kids.
The girl itself was a very nice, polite, and very talkative woman, blonde, semi-attractive but against better judgment I walked in. She guided me to her room upstairs and told me to undress and lay down on the table.

As appearances could deceive, she gave an absolutely amazing massage. Firm, but not too painful, and it helped. She could not walk around the table she had set up, so she stood on other furniture to actually get to me. And she kept talking, yap yap yap, but I cannot deny, the massage was great. Period. A solid legit massage and she put my shoulder back into working condition. During which I heard her life story, not a sobbing story, but one of a woman who knew she made all the wrong decisions, and now had to deal with the consequences, and she was. I liked her. Honestly liked her. Not my type of woman, but she was a strong, honest woman not taking shit from life.

I got dressed, she gave me a hug, and I was on my way.

And she was on my mind. Not in a sexual or romantic way. But I genuinely liked her, and with the holiday season coming up asked her that I would like to plan another massage before she would move out to Nevada, and that I would not mind paying her in advanced. She was happy, and send me her PayPal information to get her the $70 for the hour long massage.
Fuck it. She had two sons, I had seen where they lived and I had some extra left, so sent her some more and told her to spend it on some gifts for the holidays.

Two weeks later we had the massage planned, now in a hotel near my work as she stayed their until their trip a day later. She welcomed me excitedly. Told me how much I helped out and that she appreciated it so much and not ask for anything. She had me lay down on the table, and now she could walk around it, and massaged me. My back again done so perfectly. I honestly wished she still worked, because it is hard to find a masseuse that does everything right.
I turned over after I completely lost track of time, listening to her constant talking. I really liked her, her massage was perfect, but the talking. Opening my eyes I noticed that her jeans had gone and she was massaging me with her bra and panties on. I looked, but did not actually talk about it.
I heard more about the misery of her past. But again, not in a whiney way, a 'feel sorry for me' way, but literally like 'I have gone through that, I can beat anything'. A fire, and 3rd degree burns on her body.

What?
I had not seen these when I looked at her.
I told her so.

"Oh, absolutely", and she un-clipped her bra, and showed me a barely noticeable, but definitely a scar on her right breast.  Of course I had difficulties focusing on the scar. It looked almost like discolored skin than scar tissue.
"My body handles scars really well.", she said. Looking at it herself. "Touch it. You will feel it is really soft, and not thick as it usually is with people."

Fuck. She did ask it? Who am I to ignore it. And I touched her skin just above her aureola. It indeed felt like normal skin.

"Third degree?" I asked. I have seen scar tissue a lot before, and my wife being an MD had a lot of material about it as well. And never was a major scar almost so very well blended in the normal skin as it was with her.

"Don't believe me? I had both my boys with a c-section, and take a look." she said, and she pulled her panties a little bit down, not enough to see things that really started to interest me, but - well - what do you know. There was clearly the mark of a c-section, also discolored, but not the slightest bump.
I did ask softly, more because my throat dried up than anything else, if I could touch it.
"Sure", she said, got my hand and rubbed my fingertips over the scar but the panties snapped back over it.
"Wait". She pulled down her panties, stepped out of them, and placed my fingertips against it again. "See?".

By that time of course I had no interest in that piece of scar anymore. "Can I... touch it?" She looked at me with a smile, stood with her legs slightly further apart and said "Sure you can."

As I had my hands between her thighs, my fingers feeling the moist edge of her lips, it just all felt so weird. She continued massaging me, and nothing sexual about the way she touched me. Which could not be said about me. And she kept talking, even as a finger slid inside of her, and I felt how easily that insertion took place.
At one moment she stopped, looked at me, smiled and then softly touched me. Lotion was unnecessary; I have quite a lot of pre-cum. She gently played with me as my hands discovered all of her body.
Were my experiences with the other masseuse that once the soft touch starts it is ending pretty soon, this woman took her sweet time. Talked, giggled, massaged a bit regularly and then went back to her business pleasing me.

I asked her if I could maybe, please, lick her. And she told me I could not, those were services that she did not provide. I said I understood. I did, but my body did not.
It took actually an additional 30 minutes before she brought me to my climax.
She told me to keep laying down as she cleaned me up, then pointed me to the bathroom for a shower or a bath. I did, and as I came out, she came to me, still naked, hugged me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that she loved it that I did not push myself on her and that she enjoyed my company. If it was real or not, maybe related to the elevated pre-payment did not matter, she honestly gave me a wonderful feeling. Besides giving me an awesome massage, an incredible sexual experience, she actually made me happy.

When I walked out I noticed that she has massaged me for almost 4 hours.

Sadly enough, like said, she moved back to Nevada. I actually still email with her, and she keeps me up to date how she is doing, how life is treating her, and sometimes those emails are very happy, sometimes heart breaking, but they still feel very honest.

(No, the photos don't show my masseuse, although she looked like her. I thank teentugs very much for letting me - eh - borrow - the photos :) )

Did I Really Visit An Escort? - Massage part II

Sometimes I really have to come back to what I have written before. And without me getting in my old postings and just modifying something, I think it is much more interesting simply to follow it up with another posting. Just as much fun.

A couple of postings ago I described of how getting a massage became a good alternative to my cheating lifestyle. And it actually is, although I have stopped the massage therapist that I was seeing and that I wrote about earlier. The simple fact is that it still did not feel as if it was a good alternative to what I was lacking. But, what was it that I was lacking?

It is easy to think that I was lacking sex. Which, of course, is true, but I also keep writing about how the mind is the most sexual organ, and with that, I do get enough sex at home. My wife and I are very open about sex, the problem is, she simply cannot have it. Period. But, on the other hand, I didn't like the fact to have sex without any passion. It made me felt empty and really bad.

So, yes, make up your mind! I could not really describe what I was missing. Well, I could, which is a connection with someone, very passionate, who loves all the attention, but also doesn't want a boyfriend, but also is completely open to my schedule, and is completely discrete.

Yes. I know. I ended up visiting an escort. The thing I thought I would never do, I did. And even though it is a couple of months ago now, I still don't know what to think of it. It was actually incredibly great, but also very weird, and not the way I thought it would be weird.
At one moment, I simply started looking around online, seeing if there was someone and what possibilities it might have. Just to play it out in my imagination. Of course, my better part of my ego warned me a gazillion times about safety, what if it is not a girl at all, or what is I am robbed, or even if she doesn't look the way she looks in the photo, or, of course what if it is a police officer?

But, as many men can describe you, once a thought has entered a man's mind about sex, it will dig in deep, nest in there, and will hang on like a leech until you keel over with a heart-attack. And at one moment just looking around online, there was this ad of this girl. And she looked fantastic. In my opinion at least. Not a model at all, but a very normal, but wonderful girl. Loveliest smile, fabulous eyes. Find me weird or not, but that is what does it for me. The smile and the eyes. I don't care about breast size or being very thing at all. You win me over with a smile.

Of course, I already painted this 'worst case scenario' that she actually had a beard, a gut and a voice that would make water boil. But, blood was flowing where it drained it from my brain, and I found myself sending her a message on the phone number that was listed. Fool! Stupid idiot. There I went, already giving out personal information.
And I almost immediately received a message back. She was able to receive me that afternoon after work, and even though the amount became more than listed, I was not in any condition to mention that, especially because the only words I would have been able to utter were 'bwahumba' and 'urghidastic'.

Even driving over there, my mind was racing and telling me all the time to just turn the car around, but no, I drove up to the address she mentioned and saw, next door, a bunch of guys sitting on their bikes and indeed, thought it was not the right thing to do. So I drove on. My mind taking the right decision. Until her message that she was outside, waiting for me and if I was in the area already. So, I decided to drive by one more time, and noticed the address was actually a couple of houses off. And there she was. Exactly like in her picture.

I parked, got out, and walked up to her. She greeted me with a wonderful smile and hugged me, and guided me inside... of this horrible apartment building. Well, it was a beautiful old house - once - and now it housed a couple of apartments. Getting over the stuff on the stairs was painful but eventually we arrived at the attic apartment. It was messy, stuff everywhere, but at least clean. And, well, she was there, almost just as nervous as I was.
When the door was closed, she immediately took of her clothes, stammered some words and then actually greeted me. This made me feel so much more relaxed, because clearly it was not my first time either. Well, after a bit of talking, it seemed it was not her first time as well, but she was anything from experienced. And it showed. Not because of her performance, but simply because she was way too honest about having just lubed up - which for a guy of course is not the thing you want to know. Of course I know that she is not naturally wet from a guy she just met, and not only that, attracted to just any guy. And although I will mention here that I don't think I am an unattractive guy at all, I might also not be just anyone's taste.

But she was overly complimenting on things that I know were fake, but she actually pulled it off so well that I really started to doubt. Which, of course, is also what I wanted. I don't want to have the idea that I am rejected but for the love of money, just come on! I want to have the feeling that I am the best thing on earth at that moment.

She had a stunning body. Very easily the most gorgeous body I had my fingertips run along. Her breasts were perfect, even though I am not a breast person. And wonderfully shaven. Her body was cold though, cool, which my mind just saw as a good thing because it was warm in the summer. See how you can make a good thing of something obviously pointing out she was not really into me.

She was asking immediately also if I would fuck her. But I was not here with such a beautiful girl just to hump and leave. That is not what I was here for. But I was afraid that it would be that. I asked if we just could cuddle a bit, and - although I knew the answer already - wouldn't mind kissing. If you read more of my postings, you know that kissing is extremely sexy to me. Surprised I was when she said she wouldn't mind kissing at all. More doubt. Was this then an act? Or not? Oh, I actually loved that game of confusion in my mind.

She was a good kisser, not fantastic, but a lot better than what I was used to. And the moment for me was when I asked her if I could lick her. Which she hesitantly agreed to, but with the warning that she did get lubed up, so, she might taste bitter.
Well, real men do not care! And she still tasted amazing. And I loved it. I love love love licking a woman. Just, give me that and I am a happy guy. And there, I was a happy guy. And she actually became a really happy girl. I was so proud of myself! Sure, I may brag. And I will brag.

Oh, a facial photographed like this always works.
In reality... slightly different.

She became much more talkative after that. We laid for quite some time simply in each other's arms. She played around with my dick a bit, and just talking a bit. About her, the apartment, actually about her boyfriend (yes, we did) and how she mentioned she would love, after that meeting was over, to visit other times too. Look, you don't have to convince me; it is a business transaction, and the sales she did, was amazing.
I was happy, yes, even without the fucking. The licking of such a beautiful woman was what it was for me already. I wouldn't care. When we were way beyond the hour we agreed to, she took me in her mouth, and very slowly started giving me the very first blow-job in my life that was absolutely amazing. Most blow-jobs I have had were okay at best, an occasional good, but this one was what a man dreams about. Her hands moving softly, her lips wet, her tongue delicious. And no hurry at all. For at least 10 minutes she did this before starting to increase the movements. She was laying on her side, jerking me off  until I reached my orgasm, which was a bit more powerful than she expected and actually hit her straight up her nose. Yep, a wonderful erotic experience, shooting a rope of sperm right up a girls nostril, who immediately gasps, trying to catch a breath, and coughs and runs to the bathroom snorting her nose, then come in howling with laughter.

And this is why I still don't really know about if this was a great experience or not. I know it is work for her, and a lot of the positive parts were simply her doing her job. But some moments were simply just so memorable. I did not fuck her, even though she offered it multiple times, I just loved the licking her, her orgasm ( which was the reason why she ended up giving an extra 40 minutes above the paid hour because she told me she had problems fucking after an orgasm ) the laying there and the unexpected ending of it.

The issue is, it is because it went like that that I liked it, but I was very sure that another time would be different. If I would have had sex with her, it would be me just humping her, while she was simply hoping it would be over. I am not an idiot, like anyone who works, we are all waiting for the time to go home. As was she. No doubt.

Well, if you read the story, you know it did not end like this... a lot less - ehm - classy ;)

So as fun as that experience was, and being with such a beautiful young girl, it still would not be the solution. There would be something else to be found... and I seemed to have found it a couple of months later which I will write about next time in the third part of the Massage story.

Plain Porn

As you might have noticed, sex is something that is on my mind a lot. Sure, I am a guy, that makes it already a given fact. But actually, it is really on my mind a lot. The erotic state of mind is something fascinating, and watching a female body naked or in such sexual way, is something incredible. Or multiple people in sexual situations always attracted my attention.

Before most boys of my age knew the official word for the female genitalia, I knew them not only how to write and spell it, but could draw them out by mind in any shape or form, simply because the gigantic collection of porn I already collected even before I actually played with myself. When I saw the first time a lady in the nude on a centerfold in a Playboy when I was about 4 or 5, I was hooked. Not that I understood it, or that I knew what it meant; but the fact that there was a magazine published about naked women must have meant that it was something special. I shared this fascination with my friend and while other kids - if they were lucky - tried 'playing doctor' once, we played the artist and his muse. She would pose just like the models in the Playboy and the Penthouses we could get our hands on, and I would draw her. Although I could not yet buy the magazines officially, it was no problem to get my hands on them. And before I even had my first orgasm, I owned more magazines; ranging from simple plain girlie mags to hardcore porn.

Porn and erotica always stayed something important to me. Sure, I love sex, but it is something else. I love to masturbate... simply love it. It is nothing to be compared to sex. Masturbation is selfish, alone, just me. Sex is something completely different. Sure, it has an orgasm as result and has to do with the thing between my legs, but that is where the similarity in my opinion ends.
And it only has been with my wife who actually understood this. And she did also not see it as something that meant I did not want her. I remember the moment when we were not yet even that long together that she was introduced to my collection, and already it became clear to her that it was to me not the dirty ripped apart and stained magazines under the bed. Perfectly ordered, in a couple of book cases, I had everything there. I simply love to see the female body. I love to see my wife's, but just any other too. I can masturbate for hours just looking at female bodies, sex...

The good thing about it and having the privacy for enjoying the self pleasuring is that I got completely comfortable with what I liked, and what not, and understanding that my preferences change. I know I am the cheater here, and that I will not in any way say that watching porn got my lust under control; not at all. But, it did get me to enjoy things that I could not enjoy with someone else.

For example; as you also may know by now, I have a huge passion for an orgasm and women. With which I mean, the male orgasm preferably in women. Porn should not have condoms. Sure, it is the right thing to do in real life, but porn is not real life. And while watching porn, it should stimulate the senses, and condoms just don't do that. My wife hates seeing the 'money shot', but for me, it is so incredibly sexy.

A lot of things I have developed an interest in, without even having experienced ever for real. It is not only the male orgasm on or in a woman that turns me on, but anything liquid that isn't blood. I love to see a woman pee. Never seen it in real life though, and still hope to experience it with someone one time. I don't even have to participate in it, I don't even know if I would like it, but just seeing it would already be a huge turn on. Until that time, photos will help me out enough.

The thing that I enjoyed learning about myself is that age is completely irrelevant to me. A mature lady might be much more sexy than a beautiful woman. It really differs per day, just like the ethnicity I would be interested in. Even the body type can change any moment. It is to me, the beauty is in the erotic mood. I cannot stand the faked sex, which is why I prefer photos over movies. The movies are always so acted, and never well done. Not only that, they are horrible as masturbation material because if you finally found the location you would like to experience your moment-supreme on, suddenly you are looking at the face of the guy at exactly your wrong moment. Photos are nice, and without the fake orgasm sounds.

Over the last 12 years I have had multiple women posing in front of the camera, the shoots that my wife directed and I shot. And seeing that side of the porn industry, the fact that making the shoots yourself is by far not as erotic as you might think, also put things in another light for me. I enjoy porn now as it should; shallow. It is just superficial what you see. And you know what? I don't care. Like snacking something once in a while; you know it is not nutritious, but it is so damn yummie.

Nepali Passion... How Cheating Can Get Too Risky

There would not be a single man alive, married or not, that
would have been able to resist.

I talk about the cheating from a very objective point of view. It is something I have under control; it is something I plan and find a special place for in my life. Well, that is how it might seem, and what I do try to achieve. But sometimes, something more might happen. Something I try to avoid at all costs is to have to concept of love come between the cheating and my regular life.
But once it hits, no matter how accidentally it might be, how do you get out of it? And do you want to?

I experienced this once. Even though I had been writing with this woman for a time, which was very casual, simple, and mostly because of friendship, we decided to meet. She knew I was married, I knew she was divorced, and we just wanted to meet. Nothing special. Well, nothing special... we had been talking about the lacking of passion in both our lives, and the need for a hug from someone.

But this certain Friday night, we decided to meet and we mentioned this little coffee place for the early evening. But halfway through the afternoon I notice the hesitation, and she called the meeting off, which might have been better anyway. So, I planned the evening alone at home, since my wife was away on a trip. Simply with a pizza and a movie, not doing anything that would be in any way productive.

Adorable, and quite close in
resemblance. Of course, this is not her.
But oh boy, does she bring back
memories.

But just before I settled in, she wrote me asking if I still might be willing to meet her. But since it was already getting later in the evening and the coffee place was closed. She wanted me to come by her place, but then, she did not feel completely comfortable with meeting a stranger at her place, which was totally fine with me. So she asked me to come to her town, and drive under her directions, and then meet here in front of her home.
And so I did. And in the total darkness, an hour later, I called her to mention that I should be somewhere nearby. She guided, and misguided me accidentally, a couple of times, but in the end I arrived, and saw this pretty woman standing outside, with her hands up, waving towards my car and holding a phone. I got out, we hugged, and she walked a little bit with me towards her apartment and guided me in.
We had a wonderful little talk, simple, honestly, and fun. About the things we talked prior to that evening, and why she suddenly wanted to back out, but in the end still decided to meet me. And it was simply a pleasant meeting in which we got to know each other.
Then, when we picked up our drinks and walked to her living room, she put the glasses aside, wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. Simply mumbling barely audible, that she appreciated so much that I was there. I wrapped my arms around her, and we stood like that for a little while. Totally in silence, just a pleasant hug, quietly, safe. Then she looked up, and I looked into her eyes, almost as black as night, almost as black as her long thick wavy hair. Her slightly tinted skin, and it was then that I literally melted in her arms. And without a word being said, our lips touched, and I felt her small pointy tongue find a way to play with mine, and the kiss became long, passionate, something incredible.
While grasping for air, I whispered "I want you..." by which she immediately stopped kissing, looked at me again, and simply asked; "Do you mean that?". Of course I meant it, but I just nodded and everything happened incredibly fast. She dragged me to her sofa, pushed me down into it. Unbuttoned my pants and undid the tie and pulled my lose. Without looking away but gazing into my eyes she removed her black panties from under her dress and crawled on top of me on the couch. I felt her fingers finding my cock, keeping it straight up, and then felt her slide over me, het heat touching me so smoothly and moisty. We did not talk, and she laid her head in my neck and felt her hard breating while she pumped herself on top of me. Her wetness made it so very smooth, her tightness so incredibly sexy, and soon I noticed why she jumped me like that, as she came within the minute while riding me. I felt her squeeze hard with her pussy, the trembling and shaking, and then put my deep inside of her while she experienced the slowly slowing down impact of her orgasm.

Did this just happen to me? I looked at her. This woman was stunningly beautiful. As I mentioned in earlier post, looks usually are not that important to me, it is the sexiness, the lust that my lover has, that makes me so into her. But I could not deny, this woman, let's call her Sara, simply was incredible. And within minutes of walking in the door she threw me on the couch and fucked me? I was still hard as I could be, and after she caught a breath, she bend down a bit backwards, still me inside of her, and apologized for her behavior, but that she had not have any sex since her divorce which was 5 months prior to that.

But while she was explaining, she softly started rocking, keeping me inside, fucking me so tenderly while we were actually having a conversation. And I did not want it to end. And it did not. And she didn't either. She stood up, undressed herself completely, while I did the same thing, and we went into one of those rare nights with hours of sexual play. Sometimes foreplay, sometimes fucking, and sometimes simply laying in each other's arms.
She was so incredible, so delicious, so sexy, that I could not ever refuse her delicious behind. And while licking her, I noticed how she raised her hips, and pulling her butt-cheeks apart, and without hesitation I licked here there too, immediately responded with heavy moaning, especially when I had my finger slide into her too.
Our night of sex brought us throughout her whole apartment, ending eventually with her passionately riding me once again in front of the window, where she at last ignored my warning of me almost coming, and instead looked at me and increased the pace in which the fucked me, and had me this time ejaculate forcefully inside of her. After at least 4 hours of our sexual game we were both incredibly exhausted, and she lay next to me, and we held each other close, kissed softly, and just laid there, on the floor, with each other.

This night was not something normal. When I drove home, I also noticed I could not get her out of my mind. Not just sexually, but how she behaved, how she looked. Two weeks later, just after my birthday, we met again at her apartment. And this time, she opened the door wearing a gorgeous lingerie outfit, lacking the underwear, mentioning that this was my birthday present and she bought it just for me.

Another night of pure erotic pleasure followed, and this time, we made sure it was even more incredible than it already was. I could not forget her eyes, her smile, the soft voice, the exotic looks. I kissed her goodnight way in the early hours of the morning, and noticed how absolutely smitten I was by this lady from Nepal. And that got us both thinking, and she actually wrote me that this might not be good. She knew my situation, I knew hers, and what we could give each other was less than what we wanted to. I am glad she was that strong though. If she would have asked me for other nights, I would not have been able to resist. And it would have become a very dangerous game to play.
I would not be able to resist! I could not even get her out of my mind! And I know by now, even though I might appear to be so in control; we all know I am not.

Because we all know that no man is in control with sex if a woman is involved. Even the promise of sex just makes our thinking blurry. Even if we have the best of best intentions.
Yes, I know, we are the weaker of the sexes... but enjoying it.

The Thing About Cheating is...

There is something weird about cheating. I noticed this over the last couple of weeks, and that is the following; you understand it when you do it, but if you do not, you don't know really what it is about. A lot of people are prejudiced, and almost no-one who is understands the real situation.

There are different levels of cheating, and I think you can categorize them in three levels:
- The person who cannot be monogamous.
- The person who has given in to temptation.
- The person who is seeking passionate/sexual attention that is not found in the existing relationship.

Let's not forget one thing; do never underestimate the second point. If there is even the slightest element of desire, even so well concealed, a person has to be made out of stone to resist temptation. When I met the woman I would cheat with, and that actually got me confessing to my wife, it was anything but about sex and cheating. Worse, the reason why we met was simple, we both got to know each other to resist the temptation.

Let me clarify. I knew the desire was there. The sex life in my marriage was nearly non-existing but that doesn't mean that the mind and body do not desire the sexual attention so much. But it was my idea to try to control it. As I mentioned before; I love my wife. I don't want to cheat. But when the desire takes over, the only thing you can think about is holding someone else, kissing their neck, feel the thighs wrapped around you, the moaning in your ear, the soft pressure of her breasts... the intense orgasms...

I actually needed help from someone who knew how to deal with this. And I found this someone. She had been in the same situation, but was able to manage it after a long time, and she had all kinds of tricks. And it worked actually pretty well, and got my mind off it. A while later she mentioned she would be in the neighborhood of where I work, and she asked me for some coffee during my break.
We met, had a very nice simple talk, nothing going on. But when we said our goodbye's and leaned in for a quick kiss on the cheeks, it ended up in a deep passionate kiss, and within minutes I heard her moaning while I fingered her in my car.

I, personally believe that if both people have a desire, there is no way to resist it, no matter how strong you think you are. Since then, I will never utter the words that I will never cheat again. Maybe I mean it, but I know, that if I am in the same situation, I am not in control at all. If you want to control it, control the situation, and avoid it.

But then, the other question is, should you?

That takes us to the third point; the person who is seeking passionate/sexual attention that is not found in the
existing relationship.
When you get married, or in any relationship, keep in mind that there is also a sexual expectation, just as much as there is one of love and caring. When you decide to be in a permanent relationship, you ought to know the other's sexual desires and level. This is not something that you can ignore.

Now, there are a hundred ways that sex leaves a relationship. Stress, lack of love, hormonal issues, medical issues, age, sexual incompatibility... and many more. The thing is, although we all know to work out our problems, fights and disagreements  no-one is actually working out their sexual problems. It is still too much of a taboo, even in a close or kinky marriage. Mentioning something about sexual problems is like saying the other is not good. And that is often not where you want to take a conversation.

The other thing is, that even if you can talk about it, I personally don't like to have sex with someone who doesn't want it. I know my wife often just doesn't want it, and I don't want her to do it just so I can have my fun. I don't work that way.
I rather find sex somewhere else so I don't bother my wife, and she doesn't have to do it when she doesn't want to, while someone else can be a perfect sexual match. I am not looking for love, just looking for a passionate match.

I personally think that cheating can have a solid place in a solid relationship. But, like with everything else, be prepared to take the consequences.

Now, this leaves one more point to discuss, the person that cannot be monogamous.

I think the 'cheating' going on here is on this person him or herself. I such a person understand him or herself completely, they would know a relationship is not for them, because the desire of being with someone new is simply too much.

And then there is the whole bunch of people being so negative about cheating. Sure, cheating is a game you play that has a lot of rules and traps and pitfalls. And playing the game means you have to be extremely careful. And also, a lot of people actually play the game.
And one of the rule is never to attract the attention to yourself. And the best way to do that is showing disgust on the subject. So, well, yes, in my personal opinion, the people yelling the hardest that cheating is so wrong are falling in one of two categories;

1. The people who secretly cheat themselves.
2. The people who will never get the attention that allows them to cheat.

But, again, that is my personal opinion. No proven facts here. Just my mind written down on a piece of empty web page.

The Night Before

I could not write a blog about cheating, if I would not be totally honest. I am not a player in the field. I am not with different women all the time. Actually, I have not been with very many. And finding someone is a selection process. Oh, in the past I have been with different kind of women, but I could never enjoy the one night stand thing. There was lust, but no passion. And I felt guilty afterwards, and that was when I was not cheating. I decided back then, sex had to be more than just that. It was not just about sticking it in and come to an orgasm. No. Especially when risking all while cheating, there has to be more than just sex.

About a year ago, I 'met' a woman online, just with emailing, and we got more and more entangled in private conversations. And I think there is some kind of sixth sense under cheaters to recognize each other, and we found out soon enough that we were both in the same situation. But it took much longer to actually think about meeting.

But!

Tomorrow we will. Quit unexpected I have a meeting scheduled in the village she works in, and as if there is luck involved, we just started talking again after a hiatus of silence. And although this is not a meeting for sex, we both have already aroused each other enough to know we want it both. But not tomorrow. I insist first of meeting in a public place, not because of safety, but simply, to find out if a person in real is the person we both would like to take the risk with. You can write anything, and make someone go crazy about you, but if there is no spark, it is not going to happen.

I am a guy, and with enough absence of sex in my life, lust would drive me to do it with anyone, so, that first meeting has to be with my mind in control. Although in our emails we have discussed the scenarios of both wanting it so much that at a Starbucks, when we met, we rip each other's clothes off, and me penetrating her in the comfy chairs, forgetting everyone around us, bringing ourselves to intense orgasms under the watchful eyes of our audience.

Ah, but no, tomorrow there will be coffee... And most likely a kiss.