Actually, I Have Been Good!

Just... just.... delicious!

So I am writing this blog about cheating and sex. And as you might know by now, I enjoy sex immensely, even when I actually don't have it that often. But even when writing about the sex with other women, it does not automatically mean that my life is boring at home.
Honestly... it mostly is. I have written before that the lack of sex in our marriage is one of the reasons why I ended up looking for it somewhere else.

But don't let me be only about that. There are good sex stories to be found here too. So, it is easy to write about my escapades, but I will let you now into a more intimate area of my life. I will show you a bit of our sex life, when it is actually good. Let me take you away to a couple of weeks ago.

I was visiting a friend and met him in the center of the country. We do that regularly, since we live a continent far away, and twice every year we meet each other in the dead center. We meet each other, and talk about the good old times during the day. And usually when the night falls, in the hotel we each sit on our own bed, masturbating to porn. We know each other now for eons, and since we both started noticing our interest in women, it started out by swapping out each other's Playboys and Penthouses. We are now 20 years further down the line, and now it is watching porn and jerking off. No, nothing else. It is just that missing the sexual freedom at home, it is a relief to just be yourself and let yourself go.
This year, we actually had the possibility of being with a woman, but we both resisted the temptation to cheat. And we still keep asking ourselves: why?

So, during the stay there, I did release some ejaculate. And refreshed I arrived home from a fly and drive back home, where I was greeted by my wife. The rest of the evening was uneventful and I went to bed early, being all revived again the following day to come to work.

It was after midnight that I woke up again, and something that was, to me, a brand new experience. I felt my wife's lips on mine, kissing me softly, and in the darkness I saw her hovering over me. It actually took me some time to realize that what woke me up, was her hands on my erect cock, her soft hands jerking the skin up and down, producing some pre-cum already while I barely had my eyes open.

"I missed you. I want you." she said softly, and her continuous motion already had mesmerized me. Her naked body, her breasts so close to me. Usually, when we have sex, we have a lot of foreplay. But this time, I saw a whole different beast in my very own wife. The woman who rather watched Criminal Minds than anything erotic. Here she was, suddenly, the woman I met so many years ago, already crawling over me and her soft intimate lips spreading over my cock. With a fluid motion she slid over me till her crotch hit mine, her very wetness making the movement extremely slippery.

Now, I don't know how many of you have a not such a desirable sex life at home. But you might
know the feeling of when that happens, also not to put too much effort in it anymore. Sex will become the basic movements and 'Oh!' (You) and 'Oh! (Her, sadly enough sometimes optional) and done. With us it is mostly the same, although the 'Oh!' (Her) I try to squeeze into it when possible. But you never really go outside of the box.
But I was tired, not completely awake, and we became dirty again. She grinded herself on me, thrusting my cock hitting her womb. It was pure fucking, not in a negative way. In an extremely good way. It was the honest porno fuck. Twenty minutes of raw intercourse., and it became better and better with every moment. Especially when I talked to her mentioning her fucking her favorite tv star. 'You want Jim Caviezel to fuck you, no?' I said. She always try to stay in control, but when I mentioned that I was him (Yeah, right!, I wish!) and how it was to have his cock bare inside of her, she moaned, mentioning she needed him inside of her. The thought for her got into her mind, and I noticed it in her temperature and behavior.
'Do you want him to cum inside of you?'
'Hmmmm... yeah!'
'Do you want him to shoot his sperm inside your tight pussy?'
'I want it!'
'Do you want him to knock you up?'
And this role game came to an explosive end for both of us, at the same time, when she told me strongly; 'Yessss, Fuck me pregnant! Fuck Me! Cum!'
And I felt myself explode, shooting my ropes of come deep inside of her. Feeling our juices together mix and covering us both.

She told me she actually felt a bit ashamed of it, the day after. I mentioned I liked it a lot, and that I am not a jealous type in that way.

Of course, we haven't had sex since. But that was to be expected. But sometimes, there are these little moments, that just make things feel better.... seem I don't always have to be with another woman. This time, I have been good!

The Thing About Cheating is...

There is something weird about cheating. I noticed this over the last couple of weeks, and that is the following; you understand it when you do it, but if you do not, you don't know really what it is about. A lot of people are prejudiced, and almost no-one who is understands the real situation.

There are different levels of cheating, and I think you can categorize them in three levels:
- The person who cannot be monogamous.
- The person who has given in to temptation.
- The person who is seeking passionate/sexual attention that is not found in the existing relationship.

Let's not forget one thing; do never underestimate the second point. If there is even the slightest element of desire, even so well concealed, a person has to be made out of stone to resist temptation. When I met the woman I would cheat with, and that actually got me confessing to my wife, it was anything but about sex and cheating. Worse, the reason why we met was simple, we both got to know each other to resist the temptation.

Let me clarify. I knew the desire was there. The sex life in my marriage was nearly non-existing but that doesn't mean that the mind and body do not desire the sexual attention so much. But it was my idea to try to control it. As I mentioned before; I love my wife. I don't want to cheat. But when the desire takes over, the only thing you can think about is holding someone else, kissing their neck, feel the thighs wrapped around you, the moaning in your ear, the soft pressure of her breasts... the intense orgasms...

I actually needed help from someone who knew how to deal with this. And I found this someone. She had been in the same situation, but was able to manage it after a long time, and she had all kinds of tricks. And it worked actually pretty well, and got my mind off it. A while later she mentioned she would be in the neighborhood of where I work, and she asked me for some coffee during my break.
We met, had a very nice simple talk, nothing going on. But when we said our goodbye's and leaned in for a quick kiss on the cheeks, it ended up in a deep passionate kiss, and within minutes I heard her moaning while I fingered her in my car.

I, personally believe that if both people have a desire, there is no way to resist it, no matter how strong you think you are. Since then, I will never utter the words that I will never cheat again. Maybe I mean it, but I know, that if I am in the same situation, I am not in control at all. If you want to control it, control the situation, and avoid it.

But then, the other question is, should you?

That takes us to the third point; the person who is seeking passionate/sexual attention that is not found in the
existing relationship.
When you get married, or in any relationship, keep in mind that there is also a sexual expectation, just as much as there is one of love and caring. When you decide to be in a permanent relationship, you ought to know the other's sexual desires and level. This is not something that you can ignore.

Now, there are a hundred ways that sex leaves a relationship. Stress, lack of love, hormonal issues, medical issues, age, sexual incompatibility... and many more. The thing is, although we all know to work out our problems, fights and disagreements  no-one is actually working out their sexual problems. It is still too much of a taboo, even in a close or kinky marriage. Mentioning something about sexual problems is like saying the other is not good. And that is often not where you want to take a conversation.

The other thing is, that even if you can talk about it, I personally don't like to have sex with someone who doesn't want it. I know my wife often just doesn't want it, and I don't want her to do it just so I can have my fun. I don't work that way.
I rather find sex somewhere else so I don't bother my wife, and she doesn't have to do it when she doesn't want to, while someone else can be a perfect sexual match. I am not looking for love, just looking for a passionate match.

I personally think that cheating can have a solid place in a solid relationship. But, like with everything else, be prepared to take the consequences.

Now, this leaves one more point to discuss, the person that cannot be monogamous.

I think the 'cheating' going on here is on this person him or herself. I such a person understand him or herself completely, they would know a relationship is not for them, because the desire of being with someone new is simply too much.

And then there is the whole bunch of people being so negative about cheating. Sure, cheating is a game you play that has a lot of rules and traps and pitfalls. And playing the game means you have to be extremely careful. And also, a lot of people actually play the game.
And one of the rule is never to attract the attention to yourself. And the best way to do that is showing disgust on the subject. So, well, yes, in my personal opinion, the people yelling the hardest that cheating is so wrong are falling in one of two categories;

1. The people who secretly cheat themselves.
2. The people who will never get the attention that allows them to cheat.

But, again, that is my personal opinion. No proven facts here. Just my mind written down on a piece of empty web page.